Girlfriend doesnt love me anymore

[Metkit]

Hi, Im having real problems getting over my girlfriend, as I write this Im still living with her, but she told me she doesnt love me 3 days ago and that 1 of us should move out. I have decided to go, making it easier on her. But I dont want to, I cant let go and I feel devestated inside. We have been together for 4 years, living together for around 3 and a half of those years, so we are extremely close.

About a year before now, we went through a bad patch, she slept with someone else while I was away for a weekend, she almost moved out when I got back, but we worked things out (or so I thought) She told me she hasnt been happy since this event last year and feels she should have moved away then, but never told me this. Should I have seen signs? *confused* She says she stayed with me until now to see if she could love me again, but has now decided she doesnt. This has come totally as a surprise to me, as we were going to begin the process of setting up home (buying house) together, but now I know that fro the past year she has had no intention of ever doing this, we've even been on holiday together this year.

We also had a pregnancy scare in the summer of this year, she actaully got pregnant...... But she did not want to have a baby at this time, so it was terminated. This devestated me to, but I was strong for her, it wasnt an easy thing for her to do and I respected her decision. Life went on.. was different, but I thought we were getting along ok. She told me she has been thinking about this for the past year.... I just dont know what to do. I really love her so much and would do anything to make her happy again.

 

 

[Lightingbird]

Well,

 

I hate to say this but perhaps you need to accept the death of the relationship and move on. You need to be a man and move out. The sooner the better. You need to get out of that environment before something happens. Its not healthy for either one of you. If she feels that way. You at least need to move out so both of you can have a chance to think things out.

 

I know its hard but right now you need some distance so nothing can escalate.

 

Things will be ok, you'll see.

[wandering_mind]

it sounds as if she's been playing head games with you for a while. she doesn't deserve you. it would be better if you left her and moved on with your life. don't let her manipulate and trick you into getting back with her if she tries later on. when you move out try to disassociate yourself from her completely. no phone calls, visits, e-mails...nothing. avoid doing things the two of you did on a routine basis. get on with your life. she seems very selfish and uncaring...especially if she continued to lead you on for a year. how did she expect for things to get better if she kept her feelings to herself? i don't think she expected they would...she was probably using you for other things.

[Lightingbird]

Very Good points Wandering minds

[zerohourfx1607306436]

hey, i know kinda what your going through. I just went through a pretty rough breakup myself. I was with my ex for about 5years and we went through the same pregnancy issue; which I didnt totally agree with and really felt like I didnt have control over that. Things were a lot different after that between the both of us. But I agree with lightingbird, there are bigger and stronger things than any other one person out there, although you may not feel that way now. Here's a tip: be proactive; the main reason you may feel the way you do is because let's face it gentlemen, when a woman breaks our hearts it also breaks our confidence. But positive thinking and helping others helps you feel like your accomplishing things, in turn helping to build your self-esteem and confidence to face the world without her. You seem like someone who may have been commited; whereas she may have not been on that level. Start small, and dont sweat it; if you let a trusting hand guide you and know your never truly alone you'll always come out on top. Destiny awaits us all y'know. oh yeah and lightningbird i dig your signature. 8)

[Lightingbird]

Thanks

[overcorrect]

That is some excellent advice zerohourfx. That is probably the best I have heard here. In my life I too have dealt with two females that wanted to terminate a pregnancy (once when I was 22 and one just recently). For some reason, even when it is their decision and it was a mistake it changes them. The most recent one of mine went back to her old boyfriend who she was breaking up with at the time she was seeing me. When a woman is pregnant, it might just be one of the greatest mysteries of all time on what she's thinking. The only thing I can guess is that women do this because they need some security and they have a tendency to regress into a "safe mode" which involves turning off all feelings and emotion. My advice to you is this... you're not going to get her back more than likely now (telling you from experience). Just move on and don't allow another female you hook up with to get pregnant unless you two are ready and if she does get pregnant, don't allow her to terminate it if you want to keep her.

[Treble]

hey this forum looks abit old but i need advice.

the situation is i had been with my ex for 4 years and we broke up 5 days...she says she has been having doubts for 4 weeks an was starting to think she didnt love me anymore...she didnt bring up her feelings at the time she was feeling them...one evening she picked me up and just dropped the bombshell...i can really appreciate how hard it must of been for her to tell me this..weve spoke and ive ask sevral questions and things do not make sense still.. i asked her things like where and when did i go wrong in the relationship...she says iv done nothing wrong and thats what makes it so hard...theres alittle critisim but that didnt influence her feelings. i really feel like ive been forced out from this rlationship and its killing me...weve spoke and she says that there is no chance of getting bk together...ive asked her if there is someone else she insists that there is no one...but i find out shes been texting a guy from work who is new been there for 4 weeks, i can only think that shes started to have feelings for this new guy at work but she says no its not like that.. she says that she feels like she has just grown apart since we been going out from school...im 20 now so is she...is it seriously one of those things that she has just grown apart even though i feel we havent...she also says she just wants to be single, but i really cant help but think that there is someone else in the works or shes going to begin another relationship....ive come to terms that we are over but im jut finding it really hard to let go i still love her so so much and just cant believe how its ended please can anyone offer some advice...please post on this forum or e-mail me please at email removed thank you all

[need2bme]

I was with my GF for 13 1/2 years. We too, lived together for most of that time. My GF told me that she did not feel the same way she used to. She was trying to fill a hole and couldn't. I know that she was already feeling the way she did, for about 2 years, as that is what she told me. I came home for he birthday and we argued. I think that was the catalyst.

 

At first, I did not believe that people could grow apart either. That is until my current breakup. The more I think about it though, the more I can remember that we did have problems before and chose to ignore them.

 

I too, think it takes a lot of courage to finally do something about it and I understand fully, her reasoning to do so. I also got a chance to talk with my GF and realize why she did what she did. It does not make it any easier though.

 

I know how you feel and I miss my GF terribly. There are many things I could have done differently, i.e. not looking to her to build my self esteem, not look to her to make the decisions, build her up, etc. We all know what problems we made.

 

I pray every night that we can see each other again, but now I am beginning to understand that I just need to pray for His will. If we are to be, then WE will be. Right now, all we can do is hope for the best and take care of us.

 

If you are not a strong person, she cannot love a strong person. If you do not love yourself, she cannot. If you do not carry yourself, how can she.

 

I thought too, that my GF might be seeing someone else. She said she was not. I know that if your relationship was going anywhere like mine was, then you need the break. If you guys have been in love and it was out of the blue, then (as much as you don't want to hear this), maybe there is someone else.

 

You guys are young and have been together, much of your school life. She may want to experience what is out there. You need to stop contacting her, repsect her wishes and work on you. I know it will be hard, trust me, but you have to do it.