Not in love with you cont. NEED GUIDANCE!!!

[edpko]

Yesterday, I placed a post about........She says she loves me, but isn't in love with me. All of the feedback I received was GREATLY APPRECIATED!!

 

But anyway, when I returned home from work last night, it was the same old pins and needles feelings, walking on eggshells in my own house, with my partner. The night previous, she dropped on me the "I'm not in love with you anymore." She asks me, so what's your problem, are "you ina mood again." I replied, Uh, hello, I'm just a LITTLE hurt, wouldn't you be? She looks @ me with this blank stare like I'm some kind of nut for feeling bad and having my heart ripped out by her. She wanted a fight, confrontation, but I wouldn't give in, I'm just beaten down from it all. So I looked at her and said, give me one answer, do you want this relationship to go on, or do you wish to move on in your life? Are you happy with me, or would someone else or does someone else make you happier. For about 5 minutes, she just sat there, with a dumbfounded look on her face. Finally, I said, it's very simple, you want to be with me, or you don't; you know what I want, to be with you and make this work, but if you don't, I can accept that. Should you don't wish to be w/ me, we'll sell the house and go our separate ways, or I'll buy you out. The mention of the house sent her into histarics. Her mood changed from "I'm not giving up the house and I'll buy you out" to I don't give a damn about the house, the pool the car anything.....I started over before and will do it again. My reply was, so that is what you want then, I guess that means we are done. I said if that is the case, we'll put the house up tomorrow. Typical, no response for a few minutes, and then she starts in on the neighbor thing who I've told her I dislike, I dislike their "so called friends only relationship that is way abnormal and he is not welcome." I wouldn't allow myself to be pulled into a conversation like this. I flatly told her that if her life needs to revolve around my perception of a neighbor and how I feel towards him, than I am obviously secondary in her life.

 

Typical no response again other than, "that's not what I said." She then proceeded to say, I'm leaving, I'll be back whenever. She anticipated anger or resentment from me, which I would not give. My response was, "be careful." I did follow her in the house, and asked her one more time, what do you want. She stated " this relationship is beyond fixing, do what you have to do and left."

 

She was gone for about an hour. In that period, I spoke to both of our mothers and let them know that it appeared that our 4 year relationship was over, and the house may be sold. She returned an hour or so later and it apeared that she may have been crying. She asked if anyone called, and I told her that I spoke to bot hof our mothers and told them what had happened. She absolutely freaked out that I would have the nerve to tell someone about our problems. So, I'm like hello, what am I supposed to say to them whne there is a for-sale sign in our front yard. Her response was, "I never said the relationship was over." And I said, no, not directly, but you said that you felt that the relationship was beyond repair and the previous night you are out of love with me."

 

About an hour later, I ask her what she wants to do, when does she want to get the ball rolling w/ the move, etc. I told her that I never wanted the relationship to end and that she knows where I stand. I told her you don't need to answer now, let me know in the morning. No response, but she tells me "I love you" hugs me and kisses me.

 

This moring, I ask her what do you want to do before we left for work. She says, "lets just see what happens, ok?" She then kisses me goodbye, walks 2 steps to her car, and then comes back to hug and kiss me again. Does anyone have any good advice as to how I should proceed. I'm lost here and am sinking fast. Actually, I have hit rock-bottom with all of this, and am just tired of it all. Should I take the wait and see approach, move on, and also, do oyu think I should quit bringing this up.

 

Thanks!

[Jitrenda]

The lady's putting ya through hell there dude. I would say move on. Obviously she is just playing ya right now. Just go with what is happenin and move on. I think she's mad that you are taking this far better (or so it appears) than she thought you would. And you every right to tell each other's parents...it's like she wants this to over...but on her terms. Well that's not fair to you. She told it was over and she didn't love you and know she should accept the consequences. Move on and eventually you will find someone better than her!

 

good luck!

[StillLoveHer]

That takes guts to do. However That is the best thing to do.. I eventually confronted my wife asked her what she wanted, I explained that if she doesn't love me then we can have a mutual agreement and I told her that I'm not holding on anymore if she doesn't want to be together... Well now that shes living with me again things are better LOL.. I guess i'll just have to gain trust back and realize that sometimes people like to hang out with friends.. Even if it is a guy.. well more like a boy really.