Jealously issues

[Thatgirlie]

I have been talking to this guy on and off for a few weeks. He admitted to having feelings for me and I did also, but said he doesn’t wanna progress things further. We’ve entered kind of a situationship now and he’s said that in 4 months (he finishes uni then) that things will be different. I tried questioning him on what he meant but didn’t get an answer. 

I went out clubbing one night and I sent him a voice note when I got back at around 4am to say hi as I was drunk and that I got back alright. He usually goes out on the same night as me but didn’t this time. In the voice note my male flatmate spoke. I tried talking to him the next day to apologise for the voice note as it was random and at 4am when he was asleep. I also asked if I could see him before I go away on holiday, I got no response. I said that it didn’t matter in the evening and he texted me back being very hostile and said “didn’t you literally have a guy in your bed last night”. This wasn’t the case so I sent a few angry messages back telling him not to make accusations like that and that it was just my flatmate. He opened the messages a day after me sending them and never replied. I messaged him again and am yet to receive a response. 
 

How do I go about this? I’ve explained myself yet I cannot get a response from him. He’s been on social media and hasn't opened my messages. 

[Batya33]

Often these sex arrangements like yours are short lived especially if they involve drunk texting which is so risky for misunderstanding.  It sounds like your sex arrangement with this person has run its course and I'd simply move on - you were fine with this sort of arrangement so find someone where it won't require this sort of drama -who needs that when it's just for fun sex?

You don't "try" questioning if you want a traditional dating relationship- if he won't answer -assume it's because he's vaguely referring to things being "different" -maybe it means he might want to take you on a proper date -maybe it means you'll have sex more or less, maybe it means he'll consider whether you are girlriend material.  He didn't answer because he is fine with not answering -he doesn't care if you don't know because you're still agreeing to having intercourse when you both feel horny.  You didn't walk away having not gotten an answer because the fun sex you have with him is worth the not knowing.  Both of you care more about the sex arrangement than whether in the inderterminate future you might actually date properly.  

I'd avoid texting people when drunk and avoid having others add texts or voice notes -that can be really annoying and confusing IMO.

 

[matthew567]

I think in this instance you can only explain like you did, you can't do much more then that.

It would maybe show he does like you but making accusations and ignoring you isint solving anything.

Maybe worth exploring why he felt the way he did, that's obviously only if you want to.

[smackie9]

I would take this as a warning that he could be projecting his guilty actions...like it's OK for HIM to be with other women as long as you don't know but not OK for you to be with other guys. And if you ever found out he was with someone else, he would just turn it around on you saying that you two didn't agree to be in a committed relationship. See where I'm going with this?

His silent treatment speaks volumes that he is very manipulative, and childish. Instead of properly talking this out, he would rather hurt you and make you feel bad. Big red flag hun....run for the hills on this one.

I urge you not to chase him down. Don't do it. Do not put up with this type of behaviour.

[MissCanuck]

4 hours ago, Thatgirlie said:

We’ve entered kind of a situationship now and he’s said that in 4 months (he finishes uni then) that things will be different. I tried questioning him on what he meant but didn’t get an answer. 

Because he knows it's an excuse. Plenty of people have relationships when they are students. He could date you now if he wanted to. He's choosing not to. 

4 hours ago, Thatgirlie said:

I’ve explained myself yet I cannot get a response from him.

There is nothing more you can or should do. You don't owe him an explanation anyway, but you can't force someone to talk to you if they don't want to. It sounds to me like he was looking for a reason to cut you off and he is choosing this episode as his exit strategy - and to make it your fault. 

I would stop falling all over yourself to this guy. It sounds like a complete waste of time.