Guilt over depression

[ilovecats666]

Not even just currently but in a general sense, I always feel guilty in relationships because my mental health can be so up and down. I'm on medication (again) and have been on and off for years. I'm in therapy, etc. And 8 have a good hold on myself. I'm functional. I work. I'm good at controlling myself, I don't typically lash out. BUT, I have semi treatment resistant depression, with anxiety of course. And I go through phases where I'm just doing bad. 

I'm not mean, but I know I'm a bummer and more emotionally fragile in these phases. 

ESPECIALLY when they are someone who is pretty well adjusted and not also mentally unwell. It's almost like don't deserve someone too kind or stable. It feels like I'll drag them down.

Which I know isn't totally true. But it's still hard knowing that this isn't something that everyone understands and I'm sure it can be perceived and more personal. 

[Kathryn657xx]

Hi,

What are you asking here ? If you are good enough for a partner? If you're worthy of being in a relationship - absolutely yes! If someone loves you for who you are, these bad moments and 'phases where you're just doing bad' should be able to be dealt with- or even better, be helped through! In todays society especially, people are so much more aware of mental health, you are doing so good and things seem positive! You are working and functional - you should be proud of that because it can't be easy. 

Take your time finding a partner - communication is key but don't ruin it by letting your feelings dictate how someone else feels about you if that makes sense - don't hold on to the idea that you'll drag anyone down.

[catfeeder]

Considering that dating is all about screening out bad matches, which are the majority, and only focusing on dating the few that show promise, then why not set up a bunch of quick coffee meets on your way home from work?

Spend just 20 minutes or so to check one another out, and agree that neither can ask the other for a real date on the spot. But either can invite the other afterwards, and if the answer is no, then no response is necessary. This takes sqirmy rejections off the table.

By the time you meet someone worthy of dating, your meds have likely kicked in, and maybe you’ll feel less fragile about mentioning that you go through times when some alone time feels best for you. You’ll probably feel more confident then to explain this as a clear part of who you are rather than something to feel apologetic about.

Go you! You’re in excellent company, and I doubt that this will be a barrier to finding the right person for you.

[JohnJawn]

You absolutely deserve somebody kind and stable. Depression is a condition which you live with. I am sorry for anyone who has to live with it but it doesn't define you. You're not a miserable person. You are beautiful and unique. If you had the flu would you apologize? If not then you shouldn't feel the need to apologize for depression. I

[smackie9]

I'm sure you have been told that depression needs to be maintained forever/always with medication and therapy to keep yourself mentally happy. From what you have posted, you are not in a good place right now...your anxiety is making you question your self worth. Our words of support/encouragement is only a band-aid solution. You need to really work at this with your therapist, maybe talk to family, exercise, do nice things for yourself as well to get motivated. Communication is key. Be assertive to your therapist and doctor if you still don't feel right. Squeaky wheel gets the grease as they say. I do know a lot of people who stop taking medication when they feel better or don't like the side effects but we know what the results to that are right? And yes you can have the best relationship with anyone, as long as you keep up treatment and be honest with them and yourself. Turning that frown upside down might be difficult but you can have hope...everyone deserves to be happy. You can do this.