JohnJawn

The first one was in January when we were split up. The 2nd time happened last week. I knew about the first one but since we were not together at the time I let it go knowing her codependency.

Yea I know. I was hoping somebody might take her side and say it's what she needs to move on. It's hard when you've been cheering for this person and see so much in them. It sucks.

I wouldn't say she is stalking her ex. She has sent a few texts but that's it. I wouldn't say her drinking is a problem either. She hasn't had a drink since February. She stopped after the situation with the uncle and not because of me so I have faith in her. The messages I read. This doesn't excuse my behavior but I have trust issue and the sole purpose was to see if she was still contacting her ex. Unfortunately, I got the answer I didn't want. We've been going to couples counseling and she has been trying really hard. I want to give the benefit of doubt. She goes out of her way to make me feel special and is always doing good things for my mom. Since the information wasn't volunteered it makes me also the AH and it's not really something I am looking forward to bring up.

Maybe I should add I broached on the topic yesterday. I asked her if we are at the point in our relationship where she still needs to have his number. She said no and she offered to delete it. And she did. Then I asked if things were so bad in their relationship why did you continue to try and see him when we first met. Her response was that it wasn't all bad but that relationship is over and they will never get back together. I've come to accept that.

We've been discussing living together but do not currently. We're both in our mid-30's. Her and the ex were never married. They were together for 8 years. He has 3 sons from a previous marriage but they do not have any together. We broke up over her drinking. I'm not a big drinker and wasn't comfortable with it. Her uncle passed in a drunk driving incident and it led to her wanting to change. I don't know what she has to discuss with him. Her messages to him were pretty direct. "I only need a yes or no answer. Will you meet me for lunch on Wednesday?" and "Can we meet for coffee? I am free over the weekend and have some things to discuss". So at least it's not like she is trying to flirt or saying how much she misses him. As far as I know she hasn't actually seen him. He seems to not want anything to do with her. To be honest she cheated on him and it was a bad breakup. He's also aware of our relationship. We met 8 months after it ended and she had moved out. At this point it's been over 2.5 years. I don't think she ever got closure knowing that she was responsible. So there is a part of me that says it may be for her to fully move on. I don't know?

You absolutely deserve somebody kind and stable. Depression is a condition which you live with. I am sorry for anyone who has to live with it but it doesn't define you. You're not a miserable person. You are beautiful and unique. If you had the flu would you apologize? If not then you shouldn't feel the need to apologize for depression. I

How long are they planning on visiting you in Malaysia? Are his parents also living in London? If you love him I think this is a compromise you're going to have to make. At least for a while. You're only 23. I can't speak to this specifically but a lot of parents still view their children as children at that age. Maybe it gets batter as you get older or if you get married but if you have to decide if it is worth tolerating in order to continue to grow as a partnership. Go and have fun! You're going to have the time of your life. Don't let this ruin your experience.

I don't know if you can judge him from something he did at 15 At least not if it is an isolated incident. God only knows what regrets we all have. People grow and mature and change. Now I do agree the inappropriate touching is concerning. As your partner he has to respect you. I don't think you can connect the dots as a pattern unless there are other incidents but him touching against your wishes is not appropriate. You need to firmly to tell him to stop, that it makes you uncomfortable, but you have to be willing to follow through if he further continues to not respect your boundaries. If he sees you as an equal partner and someone he wants to spend his life with he will stop. You're not comfortable with it is the only thing that matters.

First there is nothing wrong with you. We are all unique in our own way and there is someone who is right for you. Putting yourself out there is scary (speaking from experience). I would try dating apps. Not all are for hookups and not everyone on there is only looking for hookups. You don't have to sleep with the person or even see them again if you don't mesh. It will at least help to get you more comfortable with men and dating. You are perfect the way you are and the right person will see that as well.

Don't know where to begin. I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 years. When we met she had just gotten out of long term relationship and we maybe didn't do the best job of taking things slow. This led to some rocky times. We eventually parted ways but ended up staying in touch and rekindling things 4 months later. Things haven't been perfect but they have been mostly good. We both have seemingly been putting in the effort to make things work. We get along really well and have similar personalities. While we were split up she reached back out to her ex to ask him to meet for lunch. He declined. Since we weren't together I let it go. 9 months later things seem to be going ok. I go out of town for the weekend and it happened again. This time she asked if he would meet her for coffee because she had some things she wanted to discuss with him. I don't know what to make of this. I understand how hard it can be to move on. It's something I greatly struggled with in the past. At least he didn't respond. It is possible she wanted to conduct a post mortem to see where things went wrong or maybe to give herself closure. I can't say this for sure. He was the one who ended things with her. The other possibility, which I also don't know, is it a last ditch effort on her part to get back with him? The thing is it's her and not him initiating contact. I'm questioning if this is something to cut the relationship off all together which is hard because I see her being in life for all of it. If we split up again this time there's isn't any going back. I don't know weather to take a firm line or just let it go. Nothing happened but still she violated a major boundary. Seeking out her ex is the one thing that I was clear would be a deal breaker.