busybee12

The point is that its so low effort to show appreciation / romance. I'm not asking for a card or gift, just a text. He could even set a reminder in his phone if he cared. The point is, I constantly mention that it means a lot (he used to be good at remembering), and he still forgets, meaning he's not putting the effort into something very easy that could easily make me happy. I know at face value it seems silly, but its the fact that its such an easy remedy that he still can't manage. He'll meet his friends every other week, I'd say.

Where are you getting $100 for flowers from? A bunch of flowers is no more than £6 in the UK.

I'm 23 and have been with my boyfriend (also 23) for four years. In the first six months, he was very romantic, bringing me flowers often, surprising me, and even bought me a bottle of wine as an apology when he had to postpone a plan we had. Over the four years we've been together, he has understandably become less romantic as we've got more comfortable together. What I've noticed is that he never brings me flowers unless its an occasion or I complain that I haven't received flowers in a long time (aka - whenever he does bring me flowers, it's engineered by me so it feels ingenuine). Also, I'm a bit sappy and always like to remember our 'monthly anniversaries'. I know this is a bit silly and obviously I never expect anything for each one, but on the 20th of each month, I just love to acknowledge it (eg: 'happy 3 years and seven months!' in a text). It's a sappy romantic thing that doesn't require much effort. On several occasions I've sat him down to reiterate the importance of these things to me. It's the little efforts that go a long way for me. Last time, a couple of months ago, I even threatened breaking up with him as he just didn't seem to get it. It's the principle and thought behind the actions rather than the actions themselves. In response, he actively remembered the next anniversary, and brought me flowers each time he saw me on three consecutive occasions. Alas, since then, I've had no flowers, and he seems to had forgotten the monthly anniversary again. A similar thing happened a couple of years ago. I sat him down to explain that it made me sad that he'd never introduced me to his friends or organised for us to hang out all together. He overcompensated, inviting me to hang out with their group five or six times in the space of a month. Since then, I've not been invited out with them at all in the last two years. How many times do I have to remind him about these little things before I admit to myself that this is an uphill struggle not worth having? It's not like I've not spoken to him - we've had countless tearful conversations about this. The main issue I face is that in December we are travelling across South East Asia together with a view to move in together when we return. The non-refundable flights are booked and I don't really want to travel alone / with friends. I want to travel with him. Help a girl out 😞

As extra detail - we are both 23 and have been together for 4 years.

This dilemma is a bit different but was hoping for your advice. Brian and I are going travelling for six months before moving in together in London. We’re going to South East Asia and it’s been something we’re so excited about. My parents are very chill / trust me a lot, so they’re not worried at all. On the other hand, Brian’s parents admitted that they’re a bit nervous about us going so far and for so long. His mum babies him quite a lot (she writes his job applications for him and made him study timetables when he was at school etc). He’s quite independent but I think she quite likes to know what’s going on in his life / have a say. Last week, he asked me if it’s alright if his parents book flights to Malaysia whilst we’re out travelling to come and see us. I found this a bit odd as they’ve never been interested in SE Asia before until we booked our trip, but I said that it’s fine because, well, what else could I say?! I could hardly say no without sounding like a ***. Yesterday, Brian informed me they finally booked their flights, so it’s all confirmed. They’re coming out to visit us. I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but for me, this trip was a chance to get away with Brian alone for an extended period of time, really bond with each other, and become more independent. I know I sound really bratty, but I’m worried that if Brian’s mum can’t go 6 months without seeing him and will book flights to Malaysia to see him, I’m getting the vibe of a controlling / needy mother in law? Will she insist on coming to flat viewings when we move in together next year? This isn’t the first time she’s done this - she also will book our restaurants while we’re away on holiday as a couple. It’s well intentioned but a bit much? I also know a week isn’t that deep, but now we have to plan when to be in Malaysia so it coincides with their holiday, taking the spontaneity out of our trip, which was one of the main points of it. Am I being really bratty? The flights are already booked so there’s not a lot I can do, but just wondering what you guys think of this and if it’s a red flag?