Why are men like this?

[idk1920]

Hi everyone,

For context Im 23 and he’s 19, i know we have a pretty big age gap. Since we matched on an app, he told me directly that he was looking for friends or fwb. I told him I’m looking to go on dates, he told me ever since his ex cheated on him while they only lasted for 3 months he has no motivation to date. I told him that’s fair we can just talk, I’m not completely interested in a relationship, I just wanted to go on dates and have things happen naturally. The more we texted we eventually ended up calling to the point we called about every night. It was mostly him initiating, I was trying to keep distance. However, he ended up telling me ever since we started calling I made his mind change about wanting to date. We communicated a bit over a month and we went on a date last saturday. Things went well, he immediately texted me saying how he enjoyed his time and I asked if he wanted to hang out again. He said yes and then we continued talking. Things turned bad once I asked him about religion, he’s muslim and i’m christian. He expected me to convert if things worked long term, I would never convert and I told him that. Then things got worse because my insecurities got to me again, on monday I panicked and went off. I asked if he wanted me to leave him alone. He said “No, we’re okay”. After that I basically only texted if he texted me. We spoke on tuesday night, things were normal again. He said he was glad were normal again. A few days ago he admitted he didn’t like me anymore and he didn’t want to feel forced into a relationship. I was never forcing him into anything. I did get really upset that he would change on me all of a sudden then I got irritated and he called me “toxic” and “childish” he said no man wants a toxic woman like me. Then I continued telling him to block me if that’s how he feels. He never blocked me, he just ignored me. I’m not gonna lie, I feel very upset he would cut me off this way, I would have expected him to want to be friends after a month of talking. I know it’s not too long, but we called for hours and it was really nice. I apologized to him last night and thanked him for his time and to take care and he never read my message but that’s okay because I will never contact him again that’s for sure. I guess I was used for an ego boost? That we couldn’t even be friends?

[Batya33]

Nothing to do with what men are like. He was honest with you even before you met.  You lied to yourself about being ok with what he wanted which was different from what you wanted.  Then you started treating it as if he were dating you with potential for long term. He wasn't.  He told you from the beginning that was not his thing.  I would be surprised if anyone on a dating app is looking for more platonic friends.  Why do you want to be platonic friends with a 19 year old? He didn't change or cut you off -he got understandably frustrated when you chose not to listen to what he told you from the beginning.  Sure it would have been polite to repeat what he told you from the start but - why? 

[HeartGoesOn]

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