Is it a bad idea to homeschool our kids (9M, 15F) without friends on purpose?

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

How do they 'show' that they really want something?

And how would they really even know what's on offer if Mom has limited them so much?

Mom, it's your job to make sure your children are socialized properly. They should not need to ask you for it. 

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

And how would they really even know what's on offer if Mom has limited them so much?

Mom, it's your job to make sure your children are socialized properly. They should not need to ask you for it. 

To me the analogy is -would you go to a foreign country for more than a couple of hours layover without reading up on/learning about any cultural differences, whether they speak your first language and if not how to ask for basic services in their language? Teenagers can be alien-like (just as I felt that way with PMS, when I was preggers, a new mom, when I was pre-menopausal) at times - like visiting a foreign country - arm your kids with experiences and exposures because also well we all know adults who act like teens, too.

I made my son go on his first overnight trip without us when he turned 14 -it was carefully selected - he went with his classmates and teachers, it was a drive not an air flight, we knew the teachers and trusted them, we liked the structure of the 4-day trip. I still know he was deprived -not our fault! - of earlier overnight opportunities mostly because of covid - one trip cancelled for 5th grade and then sleepaways in summers 2020-21 even into 2022 weren't safe enough. 

I will tell you OP I saw first hand the consequences of the deprivation - we packed together for his trip - I mostly did but we did 2-3 dry runs on the basics - I mean he'd never had a sleepover - like really basic -how do you transport your toiletries from the room to the restroom/showers? What do you do if one of your roommates is noisy, etc.  How do you keep your stuff organized and avoid getting clean and dry stuff wet/dirty? Who do you go to if you feel homesick? I mean he told us -he skipped breakfast because he got overwhelmed  it was a buffet style, he messed up on how to bring everything to his table, he spilled a little or made a mess (nothing bad) and he felt so self conscious he gave up that day.  But guess what -he figured out how to wait in the line and what to take and how and he didn't miss a meal on day two.  Maybe -gasp -he even had to put his pride aside and ask someone where to find x or y for breakfast.  He had to navigate asking a friend to borrow a charger for his phone, how to spend his spending money so he had enough for what he might want, etc.  He BEGGED us to pick him up on the second night.  We determined all was really fine and he should stay (ok mom so what if instead you and dad leave at 9am tomorrow you'll get here by 2 that way I can go kayaking!"). 

We made him stay. So hard.  And a hard thing you never have to do right?  My son thanked me for making him stay.  He understood that I wouldn't have made him stay if he was in any danger and/or unwell and/or if his teacher suggested we should come. 

But it also means my son sees my humanity because he knows some parents would have been in the car with the first text rushing to rescue their teen-in-distress from being homesick or uncomfortable.  He came home a more resilient independent kid.  Still talks about how he went fishing for the first time.  

No no no this is not all about me and if it is it's about my imperfections - do I really know if I did the right thing -years from now will he tell me he actually had nightmares about being away - because he was really upset and maybe we should have rushed to his side.  We needed a village to convince him to go in the first place.  He'd likely never have asked to go since he had no reality-based context to know to ask.

I could have said ok sweetpea stay home with mom and dad and if your classmates gush about how awesome it was and you have FOMO it's ok cause you're safe here at home with us they are evil teenage aliens!

And the next camping trip -we opted out.  We had our safety-related reasons and instead he went away with my husband on his business trip.  Again - we had to show our humanity to our son - "we let you go on X/ we said you didn't have to do Y and here is why."  Your kids know full well not all teenagers are evil/with evil influences/bullying.  Kids are smart and you can only keep them blissfully ignorant for so long.  All to their detriment.

[Jaunty]

Disclaimer:  This is not specifically directed at the OP.  

I'm not "against" homeschooling per se.   I have a growing level of discomfort for the class, education, cultural rifts between people in the USA.  

In our community, homeschooling is very popular and the kids are being "protected" similarly to how the the OP and their partner are protecting their children.

In our case, the kids are being protected against people of different religions,  different political parties,  gay people (and they're being raised to think that "gay" = sexual predator) , different races,  literature, even reading in general.  And a lot more.

Yes, the parents have the "right" to control everything and anything in the lives of their kids.   

What kind of country are we creating when almost nothing besides the belief systems of the mother and father in a nuclear family structure is available to shape the adults of the future?