Did i got rejected ?? page 5

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hii guys, iam about to finish posting on this girl soon..

 

I have found that i making my self going mad, because i dont know really how she feels.... Really i didnt hear from her either yeah i like u or i dont like u.... well yeah she said i like u too but was followed by i dont get a bf..so i dont know why did she say i like u too Letting me down nicely ??

 

Finally when i reached my climax of confusion i sent her a msg telling her: hey u really maaaade me so confused, now u know everything and things became clear for u but things became weird for me so can u please help me make a decision ???

 

She said: hey i know things will become weird between us but why are they confusing ?? i really dont know what to say !! how am i suppose to help u ??

 

I said: Like if u dont get a bf thats ok me 2 but if u r not interested that is a different story

 

She said: Hey u cant understand me at allll i know everything i will say now u will understand it in a wrong way but i will try... look i really find u a nice guyyyyy and i really like yoouuuu but i really never thought of things that way thats why it is confusing.. i cant say iam not interested bec if i said this means i dont like but i do... ok i realised now that iam confusing so i dont make u worry all i have to say now is that i really never thought of this subject not because of u but simply bec i really never did so can we keep things like they were without u hating me ??? coz i really dont wanna lose ur friendshipp ?? so i said : OK COOL

 

She said thanks i really appreciate it plzz dont have hard feelings , so i said noo u r free to do whatever u want it is ur own will no problem

 

So what did she mean ? was i rejected in a nice way ? or she needs time to know me better ? or she is afraid ? whaaaaaat ? thanks in advance[/b]

[kiwifly]

Her reply sounds all too familiar to me! I think she just wants to stay friends with you because that's just how she sees you for now. Maybe down the road she may see you as something more, but for now, no. Sorry!

[Süsser Tod]

Welcome to the "friends zone". If you really like her as a GF, go away, staying near her won't get you anything but pain.

[Shidoshi]

Bingo^^

[pchellak]

Some women cannot just say that they dont like us that way (some girls are sleazy). It seems like she wants to remain friends with you and keep her options open. Let me tell you from my own experience, if you like her a lot STAY AWAY FROM HER. Once she decides you are her friend you're relationship wirth her is doomed. Unless you can be 'just friends' with her (which was tough for me).

[heloladies21]

You got rejected. Move on and don't ever become her friend. She won't become your girlfriend if you stay friends with her.

[DropToZero]

AlwaysNeedHelp...yea, ditto to all the above, you're a 'friend'..nothing more.

 

I tried telling you, but you chose to follow what Shy said...man guys on this site DO NOT get it....maybe if you had listened to me you wouldn't be feeling like you do now, or could even possibly be dating her...

 

I do my best not to discourage anyone from other's advice, but always have disagreements, Shy and I are always arguing back and forth on who's advice actually 'works.' I told you to talk to prvt. a guy I had been helping...ask him what he's learned from me....

 

You chose what you chose tho man, move on now, this girl's not interested in you....and personally, don't post about her anymore b/c it will only make you think about her more. I think its normal for you to have her on your mind b/c of what you did, but it will help the less you talk about her...not more.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hmmm i c... i really dont know what to say.... But she did it in a very nice way that she hurted me more... Tomm could be the last day i see her bec it is the last day in college and that i will travel in the vaccation...

 

This could be a good chance to forget her..ohhh guyssss plz i dont wanna lose her i know i look like a idiot but really i dont wanna giveup on things like this... i know she said no but .....

 

Well i wont talk to her on this topic again ever but what should i do to keep my chances alive ? i still have 4 years with her in college thats too much and i iwll keep seeing her ahhhh things became so baad... plz i dont wanna giveup this way, i want to correct the problem !!!!!

 

Like should i staaaay awayy from her could this solve the problem ??

[Kitz]

Hahahah.. i've been in exactly that position (that the girl is in.)

 

She only thought of you as a friend, never considered you as anything more, so when you asked her out it was really unexpected and she got a bit confused.. the whole "I can't say i am not interested because if I said this means I dont like you but I do" thing... shes probably flattered that you like her and wants you to keep liking her & she'd like to keep her options open.. though she doesnt like you back and dont try hanging around coz she probably never will.

Yeah, its shallow. But thats the way things are Sorry i'm so harsh.. I must seem like the biggest beetch at the moment, but DropToZero mentioned something about following Shy's advice.. NEVER follow his advice, OMG. If there is ONE person on here who does NOT understand women and NEVER will, its him. I've never heard anyone give worse advice than the **** he gives out!!!... sorry. But seriously, I mean, the guy is 24 and he's never had a girlfriend, yet he gives out advice to other guys on how to get girls.. says it all, doesnt it?

I'd advise you to just avoid her for a while then.. things are going to get really awkward between you two, and to be honest, if you still remain friends with her and things *ARE* awkward and just keep getting more awkward, she'll get irritated and its really not going to work in your favour.. but hey, it might work, you never know. =) Good luck mate!

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

keep her options open ? yeah i think soo ok now here is what i understood so far........

 

She really likes me as a friend, she didnt expect that i like her in that way so she was confused..... She dont mean that she dont like me but as she said she never thought of this subject... i know this means that she never thought of me in this way but thats ok bec thats normal.... well she dont know me that well and i really kind of confusing too.... I wont say she dont have an interest whatsoever as u r saying... but she was kind of surprised, afraid ( she dont know me well ) and by this kind of feelings forsure she can never say i like u.... the hope is that she likes me as a friend ( well i think so )... am i right about what iam feeling ? and what should i do to make her kind of comfortable ( stay away for sometime ? ) well iam traveling this could help !!!

[skyteph]

To be blunt, she doesn't want to date you man, move on.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hey, okk all people said to me she dont want to and she said no and stuff i already knoww... well thanks but u dont feel what i feel ?

 

Anyways, i just want to know how to make things better for me ? not that she said no or i have to move on and these stuff... i said i wont tell her anything abt it again but things could change.. any tips for what i should do to get out of the friends zone would really help thanks..... one thing

 

Do u believe in this :

People will tell you what is impossible - you must know it's possible. People will say what is wrong or right - you must decide for yourself. People will tell you what to believe in and what not to - be sure you know your feelings on any topic. People may say it is not your place - and you must know that it is."

Thanks !!!!

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hey guys iam about to make a post about my experience... i think i learned alot from this experience.....

 

Also shysoul is not that bad... Maybe has no experience but he said alot of things that helped me... Still everyone has a little experience and he dont have to date million girl.. he could just be a wise man anyways

 

Wait for my long long long topic soo... i will summarize all my life experience concerning love hmmmm well i think i dont have experience at all

[ShySoul]

Always,

 

First, I think she likes you as a friend and wants to get to know you better. But thats all that you can expect for the time being. Thing is, you barely knew her and you wanted something serious with her. While I understand feeling like that (I've felt that way to) and needing to get your emotions out in the open, the chances of a serious relationship with someone you don't know aren't that high. What you need to do is be her friend, really get to know each other, and not let things get weird between you. If you do then anything can happen in the future. Don't expect her to like you in that way, but there is always a chance. Just take things as they come and what happens, happens. If you care about her like you say, and I think you do, then your top prioity is making her happy. This will make her happy.

 

Thanks for the compliments. I have more experience then people on here realize, I'm just not one to reveal the personal details of my life to a group of strangers. But I am glad that I helped you, even if it was only a little.

 

 

Yeah, its shallow. But thats the way things are Sorry i'm so harsh.. I must seem like the biggest beetch at the moment, but DropToZero mentioned something about following Shy's advice.. NEVER follow his advice, OMG. If there is ONE person on here who does NOT understand women and NEVER will, its him. I've never heard anyone give worse advice than the **** he gives out!!!... sorry. But seriously, I mean, the guy is 24 and he's never had a girlfriend, yet he gives out advice to other guys on how to get girls.. says it all, doesnt it?

 

Kitz, your entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mines. I haven't criticized your advice, even though I often disagree. When I write I try to be logical and polite, I do not put others down I simply state that I disagree. There is a reason there is a post on respect.

 

Now, I am 22 and have never had a girlfriend, not 24. If you are going to comment on me, please at least get the facts correct. And if my advice is so horrendous, then how come it has worked for several people on here and for others in real life. How come I have been in regular contact with one guy I met on here for the past 8 months who has also never had a girlfriend and yet tells me that my advice has given him confidence and has enabled him to believe in himself to the point where he has asked out two girls? How come the last has openly flirted with him and does seem interested in him? How come Always just said I was a help to him? How come I get pm's from guys who tell me that what I say does work because they do things just as I do? How come I get pm's from women who tell me I have a good understanding of females and would be the perfect boyfriend? Hey, even one of my worst critics on here told me in a pm that I have the advantage of understanding how women think and feel.

 

This also extends to real life. I'm the guy that people ask relationship advice of, even though I don't have the experience. Some of these people know this, yet they still ask my advice. Why? Because they have followed my advice and it worked!

 

You may not have read my comments in another post, but a week ago I was talking to a girl. I followed every idea that I state on these posts. I was nice, polite, a gentleman. I complimented her, cheered her up because she was down. Nothing shallow, we actually engaged in a deep meaningful conversation. No teasing, no games. I made her laugh just by being my usual offbeat self. The result? She was interested in me and I once again get told that I'm "too good to be true." Chemistry was there, there was clearly some connection between us... yet I had to make sure that things didn't go further then friends becuase o certain circumstances. It just wouldn't have been right. So, if I don't understand women... how come I had one interested in me to the point where I had to turn her down?

 

Kitz, you still have a lot of maturing to do. I am sure you are a great person, but with age comes wisdom. In 7 years you will look back and most likely be surprised at some of the things you thought. Sorry, if I ranted on too long... I just get irritated having to constantly defend myself when I know that what I say is right. Really, I wish you the best and hope that things turn out well for you.

[Shidoshi]

Shysoul, I'd like to actually read some of this stuff, why is it that it only happens between you and these guys in "private messages"? I personally don't mind revealing personal information about myself because no one here knows who I am, why should I care? We've crossed paths before and although I disagree with a lot of the advice you give out, you have had "moments" of wisdom.

 

I'd like to here about these success stories you talk about, why not post them?

[ShySoul]

I have no problem revealing things about me, but out of respect for others I keep such messages confidential unless they say its ok to do otherwise. As DropToZero said, private messages are private for a reason. Sometimes its just easier to talk to someone one on one and you don't want what you say to be shared with anyone who comes to this site. Other times it has been a short thank you for something I said that wasn't even addressed to the person or designed to help them, they just so what I said and applied it to their situation and wanted to say thanks. But I keep what people tell me in the strictest of confidence. That's another reason people go to me for advice in real life, they know they can trust me and that I won't be gossiping behind there back.

 

If I wanted to dig through old posts I'm sure I can find comments from people in the topic themselves agreeing with me. I just don't feel like going through them and pointing them out right now. Maybe later.

 

But I digress... Always, you did what you had to do. There was nothing wrong with it and nothing to feel bad about. At least you took a chance and won't have to wonder what the answer would be anymore. Now you know to be friends with someone before admitting to feelings like that. And now, should you chose to do this, you can go on trying to be her friend. But most importantly, you now know that you can tell I girl your feelings, be turned down, and still survive. Nothing to fear anymore, you've been through it and can do it again the next time someone strikes your fancy.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hey its too early to give up... i wont be her friend !!!! i will just make her more confused abt what i want... ignore her... not too much but i will...

 

Well everyone here wasnt right in all what he said.. some thing really helped me and somethings really hurted me...hmmm i dont know why i felt that she liked me lol I never had a wrong feeling, very strange....

 

I dont know really she is making me soo confused but i still have years with her... and iam willing to do alot... I dont like to lose something like this and iam in ta weak position..... I must win... Maybe 4 years from now i come and write to u that we are married looll..... i wont put so much in it but i have found that i rushed things... i iwll try to make her feel jealous and return things as they were so i can begin from the beggining... Like i kept on telling her that i like her and she just keep answerin me and talking... like if agirl i dont like talked to me that much i will jus ttelll her GET LOST ..... She might be soooo inocent or soooo playful... we will c but i wont put myself in this situation again and i will try to play the crazy guy and that i didnt liked her in that way...something like that

[Shidoshi]

I have no problem revealing things about me, but out of respect for others I keep such messages confidential unless they say its ok to do otherwise. As DropToZero said, private messages are private for a reason.

I wasn't implying you reveal personal information about people, you don't have to name names, I'm just curious about the "situations." In any event I guess you're content with giving advice to people regardless of whether or not you're trully qualified, meaning "experienced" in these matters. I'm not saying you don't have a right to, because everyone has the right to speak their mind and voice their opinions, but it just amazes me that you feel so strongly about things that you really haven't grasped.

Oh well.

hey its too early to give up... i wont be her friend !!!! i will just make her more confused abt what i want... ignore her... not too much but i will...

AlwaysNeedHelp, you may be on to something here, but I don't know. It doesn't sound like you'd be able to pull it off, no harm in trying I guess. Just make sure you move on if it doesn't work out.

[Kitz]

Okay.. i'm sorry, Shysoul. That was really harsh and I shouldn't have said it >_

 

And AlwaysNeedHelp, look, im sorry.. but I was asked out not long ago by a guy friend. I said basically everything that your crush said to you.. it was all lies -- I had known he liked me, I wasn't surprised at all that he'd asked me out, I didnt want to go out with him because "I was afraid of ruining the friendship" (if I really liked him, who gives an F about friendship??) and, truth was, I just didn't like him in that way and I wanted to let him down easily.

Guys are bad at understanding signals. Even though I gave this guy every cold shoulder move I could think of -- positioning body so it faced away from him, crossed arms/legs, no physical contact etc, he was SO convinced that I would say yes and told all his friends we were going out and by a few hours entire friggin' school knew he'd asked me out.. which must've been a bit embarrassing for him having to go and say that no, actually, he was wrong, i'd just rejected him.

 

Try and stay friends with her.. but i'd advise you to do a bit of NC for a few days or so.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

ok listen well

 

The fact that we have failed before in trying should not deter us from trying again.

 

Most people achieved their greatest success one step beyond what looked like their greatest failure."

 

 

Do not believe in examples-- believe in yourself.. thats what iam goning to do...u said u r trying to get away from him but she is not trying to get away she is acting friendly...i wont put so much on it.. but i will just talk to her and c what happens next... All u need is just confidence..... and agaiiiiiiiin

 

People will tell you what is impossible - you must know it's possible. People will say what is wrong or right - you must decide for yourself. People will tell you what to believe in and what not to - be sure you know your feelings on any topic. People may say it is not your place - and you must know that it is."

 

Kitz, did u know that guy well ?? were u good friends ? what was ur relation looked like ? what did he tell u and what did u do ? i want to know so i can really know it is like what happened to me or not ? thankss !!!

[Jack_Frost]

I think she said that she likes you too because either she meant I like you as a friend or maybe she does like you but she doesn't want a relationship because it could jeopardize your friendship with her. The bottom line is she doesn't want a relationship with you so you've gotta try and move on.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

i just want to know, how can i let her understand that i wont be her friend at all... like when i treat her normally she could say...now he undestand and we can be friends..... how can i let know that i dont wanna her in this friendly way without telling her again that i lke her and stuff....

 

Should i ignore her a little bit ?? i dont want her to feel that she got me in the friends zone.... iam trying to act cold towards her...

[ShySoul]

Always,

 

Man, I really want to help you but your not helping yourself. First you wanted something with this girl, despite the fact that you didn't really know her. You even mention that you are looking for something more then being her boyfriend, even saying the word marriage. How do you expect her to decide to marry you if she doesn't know you? Then you say that you are ok with not being together now, but that in a few years anything could happen, that you may even be married. But you are not willing to be friends with her! Again, how do you expect anything to develop if you do not try to be her friend and really get to know her. The reason that things didn't work out was that she didn't know you well enough to think of you like that. Ignoring her won't help that problem. You've said before that you weren't playing games to make her like you, but you are still playing games. These games haven't helped so far and they aren't going to help in the future.

 

You've got two options. First be her friend and see what happens. Don't expect a relationship, just get to know her better. If something happens then thats great, if not then you've made a new friend and thats always nice. Or second, you can forget the whole thing and leave her alone. But you can't expect to play both sides of the fence and still come out on top. You can't expect to ignore her and be cold to her and then figure that she's going to one day like you and you'll end up together. She told you everything you need to know, she thinks of you as a friend and doesn't want things to be weird. Don't you think that you ignoring her is exactly that weirdness she wanted to avoid? She's not the one being confusing, you are confusing yourself.

[ShySoul]

Shidoshi,

 

I take what people confide in me very seriously, I know that when I confide in somebody that I want what is said to say between me and the person I tell. I'll see if its ok with them to reveal information, but I won't say anything without their permission. It's a matter of principal to me, I aim to be trustworthy and what kind of trust would it be if I go about blabbering situations to anyone who asked? However, if you were to look at my past posts I think you'll see that I've mentioned a number of situations from my own personal experiences in real life. I've mentioned them because they are things that aren't secret or weren't told to me privately in strict confidence.

 

Sometimes the most qualified people aren't the ones with the most experience, but the ones who have the best understanding of the task at hand. I don't want to brag or seem like I have an inflated ego, but I do think I have an understanding of how women think. And that's because I listen to them. I don't automatically think I know what is best or what will work, I didn't assume I knew women or want to waste time trying to figure them out. Instead I went to the source. I talk to girls, I observed them. I know what they like, what they don't, how they think, how they act. I got another message saying I understand women this morning, I'll see if she'll let me use it. And do you remember yahoo? He was extremely outspoken against me and my lack of so called experience. Yet even he said I understand women better then most.

 

"Things that you really haven't grasped." What things would those be? Let's see the things I have seen or felt from others that I care for: cheating, abuse, being abandoned, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, miscarriage, abortion, lying, feeling ignored, feeling like the other person doesn't listen to or understand you, being too shy or afraid to ask someone out, two people getting a divorce and saying they will never be together again, that they don't know what they saw in each other only to end up having sex while the guy is engaged to another women and then guy then lies about it to his fiance (that one just disgusts me), suicide threats because of a relationship issue, broken up relationships because the people were more concerned with who had the power and control, guy ending up in jail for something he did to her....

 

By jove, the fact that I still believe in true love is amazing. I've seen everything that could possible go wrong and why it happened. So I'm in a great position to give advice on how not to fall into these traps or start down a road that. I'm looking to break the chain of lousy relationships and turmoil and prove that romance and real love still exists. If you want that to, listen to me. Everything I say is designed to prevent such bad things from happening and to allow for the calm, satisfying relationship we all seek. It can happen, and it will happen because of the basic things I advise: being nice, thoughtful, considerate, respectful, communicating, listening to each other, forgetting about who's in control, forgetting about games, etc.

[ShySoul]

Kitz,

 

I try to tell people what I think they need to hear, and part of that is getting them to feel comfortable listening to me. Who are you more likely to listen to: someone who goes on about how you are wrong and start saying all the things you need to change? or someone who points out the good things you do and then politely point out room for improvement? I try to show that I understand where someone is coming from and help them feel good about themselves. If I person just gets told he needs to change this and that or that he has to do certain things for a girl to like him, it doesn't exactly help his self esteem. Instead I want people to know that they are already good people and that there isn't anything wrong with them.

 

Like the clothes thing. I want people to see that the clothes they wear don't change who the person is at heart. I'll even say that some girls will like one style, some will like another, some won't care. But does that change who the person is? We want people to accept us for us, so dress how you want to dress. Someone people will like it, someone people won't. But there not the one's in those clothes. You need to feel comfortable with yourself and like who you are. Doing so builds confidence in yourself and that is what is appealing. Kitz, you have never seen a picture of me and you don't know how I dress. For all you know i could be a leather riding motercycle guy, a suit and tie guy, a casual jeans guy, or even a nudist. But you do know my personality and believes, both what you agree with and what you don't. That's what counts, who the person is, not what they are wearing.

 

I don't mean to start debates, I just want people to see that the person they are is what matters, and that most are already great people who don't need to change much about themselves. And when it comes to relationships, the person they are looking for won't expect them to change (especially when it comes to things like clothes) they will accept the person for who they are.