isthisaredflag Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 Dated my ex for about a year. I decided to end things but we still dated for a bit and then he finally ended things. He told me he was going to stay single for a while, but unbeknownst to me, he told me he was interested in a friend (someone who I was a bit suspicious of) as he would hang out with her at the gym, once as I was going to his place, he was late and was chatting with that girl at the gym. But then claimed it was obvious they weren't compatible. This was only weeks after we broke up. It was unacceptable for me and he agreed that he should have backed off and they were apparently 'friends' for a bit. I was incredibly hurt. He told me on the phone he sort of had feelings for her before we started dating, again he never told me this when I asked who she was. The most hurtful part was that he had nothing in common with her, she was less attractive etc. Fast forward almost 2 years ago, we've been in on and off contact and he has tried to see me since. He does express occasionally that he gets sad and misses me. We hadn't spoken for about 4 months until he reached out recently, I was happy with us talking about life/what we were getting up to. I just get this vibe that he still likes me, with lots of questions and keeping the conversation going, and says my name to all the time and joked that I'm a goth with a black love heart about some comment. You know when you can just tell someone is kinda needy/interested in you? He reached out saying he wanted to let me know that he's going on a holiday soon overseas and that he moved cities for the time being but kept saying he had a job back home (seems like he's interested still). Anyway, I asked about his house and for some reason, he interpreted that I was talking about that girl. He sent a question mark with the street he lived on and I said yes. He sent some weird message to me saying 'If it's who you're thinking about, I have not spoken to her in forever, obviously'. I quickly said that I was talking about where he used to live. Then I changed the subject. The other night I told him to stop speaking about this person. He sort of apologised and said that he doesn't want to go back to that unacceptable talk and that he misinterpreted me. I haven't responded. I am livid really. Do I just never speak to this person again? I just feel like I've been subtly disrespected for years by him but he claims it's just because he's clueless. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 I would't bother with this guy anymore, no. Cut him off. He dumped you for someone else. That would be enough for me to have blocked him for good. Don't be someone's Plan B for when they're bored, lonely or looking for attention. 3 Link to comment
isthisaredflag Posted August 30, 2022 Author Share Posted August 30, 2022 2 minutes ago, MissCanuck said: I would't bother with this guy anymore, no. Cut him off. He dumped you for someone else. That would be enough for me to have blocked him for good. Don't be someone's Plan B for when they're bored, lonely or looking for attention. So strange how he claimed he never did that, that they were just friends before and after. That it was never a relationship to him (after they went on a date). As I brought this to his attention when I was hurt at the time. But thank you, needed to hear this. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 Just now, isthisaredflag said: So strange how he claimed he never did that, that they were just friends before and after. It's not strange for someone who is clearly lying about their interest in another person. It's not right, to be clear, but it's typical of someone who is exploring another option and trying to get away with it. He didn't value you enough the first time around. Don't give men like this a second shot. 1 Link to comment
Kwothe28 Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 22 minutes ago, isthisaredflag said: I just feel like I've been subtly disrespected for years by him but he claims it's just because he's clueless. He is not clueless, he didnt value you, it backfired on him and now wants you back. I accepted a person like that once. She wanted to explore something else but came after a week and claimed its over and she decided for me. I thought she was sincere and accepted her back. It backfired on me. Hugely. So dont accept somebody who doesnt clearly value you enough and is capable of just cutting you off like that to try with someone else. If they did it once they will not hesitate to do it again when the next opportunity shows up. He maybe misses you from whatever reason(maybe he has nobody at the horizon in the moment). But he sure as hell doesnt value you enough as a person not to do stuff like he did before. You taking him back will just reafirm his belief that he can do it again when the next opportunity shows. It will not make him value you more. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 1 hour ago, isthisaredflag said: Fast forward almost 2 years ago, we've been in on and off contact and he has tried to see me since. . Delete and block him. When someone demotes you to FWB, it's time to pull your self respect together and leave for good. That you chose to stick around and worse are coming back for more is on you. You've had 2 years to not only get rid of him but to date others. If you had a BF/relationship, you wouldn't have a void this guy is filling. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 Multiple accounts not allowed. Link to comment
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