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Can't tell if he likes me


crystal232323
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I would love some perspective as I'm overthinking/slightly freaking out about a new guy I really like and am about to meet in person for the first time. We met virtually back in the fall as we're both in the same career path (tv) and I gave him internship advice. He's in his last year of college and I'm 2 years out of it and a bit further along in the same field. After meeting over zoom, we've been texting pretty much the past few months more and more. It started off mainly about job stuff (I helped him get an internship, though not at my company) and it has now evolved into something more friendly or beyond. In the process, he's come out to me about being gay (I am as well; we're both early 20s).

Our chemistry is fantastic as we bond over a ton of similar interests and the conversations flow easily. I think he likes me because of the below reasons but am not 100% sure. I'm going to finally go meet him next week and presumably will find out. While you can't obviously read minds, what do you objectively think? Do I have a good shot heading in?

Reasons I suspect he likes me:
-He initiates majority (prob 80%) of text convos and has found random reasons to reach out. Continues to initiate convos too even as I've ramped up banter. Happen usually a few times a week.
-Convos often run into late night/12am until falling asleep and run an hour+
-When he found out it was my birthday, he was one of the very first people to text me at like 12:04am the night of
-Matches my flirtyness/teasing in convo
-When I mentioned once that I was somewhat close to his area, he texted saying "and you didn't come visit? Sigh. Jk Jk"
-I wished him a great start to his week and he replied with the very excited smiling emoji

Reasons I'm skeptical:
-No SUPER outward flirting - ala. "you're cute"; "I like you"
-He always initiates convo w/ tv talk, though that could just currently be his only way in
-Doesn't initiate the flirty banter but instead follows my lead/matches
-I think he's recently out as gay/inexperienced perhaps?

I finally decided to tell him I'd be back in the area visiting and that I'd like to hang. He excitingly said yes. I've been avoiding just outwardly expressing my feelings because of the mentoring/gray area of that all. Thoughts on all this?

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It does sound positive so far.

You two seem to get along well enough - but you haven't met yet.

I'd give him some more time & no pressures.  Just take it easy in this.

So, when you do meet up with him.  Consider just keeping it all easy going. No expectations.  See how he is when he is finally around you.

 

 

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You're trying to control a situation where there are too many things out of your control.  You've been typing and talking which is mostly irrelevant to in person chemistry and irrelevant to future potential to date as opposed to being chat buddies/flirty chat buddies.

This is what you do know:  He enjoys talking with you online.  That's all you know.  For now.  Dating requires a thick skin and acknowledging that all you know is what is right in front of you especially when you haven't even been on a date and all you have planned is to meet in person.

Are you still his official mentor or is this just informal mentoring?  If the former I'd tread carefully with this.

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you are doing a lot this freaking out and craziness to yourself. 

Why? Why are so into someone you don't really know? A serios question to ask yourself.

You're letting yourself be wrapped up in a long distance fantasy and a guy you don't really know. 

Slow it down.  Get busy with your own life.  Then when you meet him you can see how you feel. You shouldn't be so focused on whether he would like you. It's more about making good choices for yourself. To choose someone that treats you well and puts in the work willingly to be with you on his own. 

as a general rule, if you can't tell someone likes you, they give you mixed signals or they pull back in anyway, then you step back. 

But in your situation, you can't even know if you would really like this guy in person. 

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