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Best Friend Finds Me Attractive


Redvelvet94
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So this is an interesting story. I went on a forum last year because I was struggling with loneliness and depression. I just expected to talk to people and help them with their problems. What I didn't expect was to find a true friend! We became buddies over the course of our messages and we genuinely care about each other. I've even met him on Zoom so I know he's legit. He's the kind of person I know I can depend on even though we live in totally different states. 

Originally, he found me attractive. While I was flattered because I had never gotten male attention like that before, I knew I didn't feel the same way in return so we've just stayed friends. That hasn't changed for me, but I want to know, do you have a friend that finds you attractive but you don't feel the same about them? Are you still friends? And how do you deal with not reciprocating the feelings? Sometimes, I feel a little guilty, especially because he's a great person and I think he'd make a great partner. But I'm also glad I don't because I wouldn't want to lose my friend if a romantic relationship didn't work out.

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An attraction doesn't necessary have anything to do with feelings.

Sure, I've had many hit on me over the years and some are friends but does not mean anything is going to happen there.

For some, they prefer true friends of the same sex because of this.  Some guys will want to 'friend' you because of attraction, but usually the last thing you want to do is cross that line.  Because, when you do, it becomes more challenging to go backwards to 'just friends', especially if one's feelings have been hurt ( being dumped), etc.

So, just focus on the friendship and who he is.  Don't react to anything more.  I'm sure you two are fine as friends.  But, I will suggest you consider backing off some if he becomes too much towards you ( as in wanting more than just friends), then it's showing you he can't just accept a friendship with you.

 

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Thank you SooSad33! No, he's not pushy at all. He knows that I just want to be friends and he respects me. I just wonder sometimes if that's difficult for him, but he's never made it an issue. I agree we're best as friends and I'm just happy to have him as my friend. I hope he is too!

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25 minutes ago, Redvelvet94 said:

Originally, he found me attractive. While I was flattered because I had never gotten male attention like that before, I knew I didn't feel the same way in return so we've just stayed friends. That hasn't changed for me, but I want to know, do you have a friend that finds you attractive but you don't feel the same about them? Are you still friends?

I don't see what is the problem. He only finds you attractive. It doesn't mean he has feelings for you. Are you sure you're not reading into this an overanalyzing? 

 

 

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