Why am I so attracted to her?

[Jack_Frost]

Not sure if anyone can awnser this but I'm going to give it a shot and ask anyway. I've had a crush on this girl for about a year now and no matter how hard I try I can't tear myself away from liking her. I convince myself that I don't like her but as soon as I see her I like her again. I'm pretty much asking why does this happen and is there any way to stop it?

[Dr.Jekyl]

OH MAN! I have the same problem. so far, I've tried to avoid her, play sports that prevent me from thinking about her, I think it either takes time, or another woman. Good luck getting over her, man.

[Mr.Lowselfconfidence]

yea....this recently happened to me...went on for 8 months. i've just recently stopped myself from thinking about her all the time. it might help that you talk to this person...and maybe that'll help you...i'm just puttin out some suggestions. it worked for me.

[nightmover]

Hello Everybody! This is my first post so be gentle! J/K Anyway, I'm in the same position right now. I've know this girl for 5 year and I've always had a magnetic attraction to her and it's has not fadded at all. Well recently she started flirting with me a little such as slapping me on the butt, grabbing my pecks,gently bumping into me with her butt. I called her the other day because we are friends and I asked her how she was doing and she told me " Better now that I'm talking to you" Wow! was my only thought!!! So I think she is finally becoming interested in me but there is one really HUGE problem. She is engaged to this jerk who totally dosen't appreciate her at all. I know it's wrong to get between two lovers but if she's so happy why is she flirting with me? Is she telling me that she's interested by flirting with me or is she just messing around? I'm afraid if I make a move to see if she's really interested I could end up looking like a big jerk! Please people I really need your help with this one! Thanks in advace!

[Jack_Frost]

OH MAN! I have the same problem. so far, I've tried to avoid her, play sports that prevent me from thinking about her, I think it either takes time, or another woman. Good luck getting over her, man.

 

I dunno if it takes time or not but even when I liked someone else I still thought about her a little. I've thought about talking to her and that isn't going to be easy at all. As for the girl thats engaged to the jerk, I think she likes you but she probably still has feelings for the guy she is still engaged to.

[ShySoul]

Jack_Frost,

 

You've liked this girl for a year, you can't get her out of your mind... so why haven't you said something to her about it? These feelings won't magically go away. You need to find out one way or the other how she feels about you. If she likes you, good. If not, at least you know for sure and you tried.

 

Maybe some more details would help. Are the two of you good friends? Why can't you ask her? Does she have a boyfriend? Are you too shy? Just saying you like a girl and can't stop thinking about her doesn't give us much to go on.

[Jack_Frost]

Alright, I do have a history with this girl. It was a few years ago, I believe I was in 7th grade and she was in 5th and she had a crush on me. Every chance she got she would talk to me and ask me random questions (like how my day was and what I was doing and such.) Eventually she just asked me if I liked her and I told her I liked her as a friend and she hasn't talked to me since. I actually kinda feel bad about it because she really did try hard to become more than friends and letting her down like that must have crushed her. As far as I know she doesn't have a boyfriend. I've been hesitant to ask her for a few reasons: Well since that time I've lost a lot (My two best friends, one moved to arizona and the other one just sorta ditched me, then at the beginning of the year a girl I used to be good friends with, and had known since kindergarden killed herself.) and its crushed my confidence for anything. I've kinda gotten over those things but I think she found out I liked her before and now its just kind of awkward. Another thing is her friends, they "hate me" and I honestly can't figure out why she is friends with either of them. (one of them doesn't even have a reason to hate me)

 

Well, I hope that awnsers some of your questions and I hope you can help me.

[ShySoul]

Interesting story, sorry I asked.

 

Just kidding. First I want to say I'm sorry you've had a rough time lately. The one friend who ditched you isn't a real friend, so don't worry about him. The one who moved is still your friend and cares about you, so stay in touch with him. I'm sorry about the girl, that has to be devasting. If you believe in heaven, I'm sure she is there and happy. Also know that she is always with you on spirit. It sounds corny, but its true.

 

Now, the girl. She probably was hurt, it takes a lot to put your heart out there like that. The fact that you feel bad shows you are a good person. I say, talk to her. You don't have to say you like her or ask her on a date yet. Just talk to her and try to become friends again. See how things go and ask her out when it feels right. Don't worry about what the friends think. The only people whose opinions matter are yours and the girls. If you don't talk to her you'll never know what would have happened. So talk to her, what harm comes from trying?

[Jack_Frost]

Just to make sure we are on the same page here. Even though its become really awkward between us (because I'm pretty sure she knew I liked her before) I should still talk to her, pretty much just go up to her and say something like hey hows it going?

[ShySoul]

Things are awkward between you. So, how do you expect them to get better unless you talk to each other? Someone has to reach out to the other, it might as well be you. Unless you want things to stay weird between you forever, you should talk to her.

 

If things are awkward then don't rush anything. Take it slow and work on rebuilding the friendship. You don't want to scare her by immediately telling her you like her. But you do want to talk to her and try being friends, easing that awkwardness.

[Jack_Frost]

Yeah your right. I'll wait for a good opportunity (when her friends aren't around) and start a conversation. Its not going to be easy for me but no matter the outcome its better than wondering what would have happened if I didn't do it.

 

 

P.S. Everyone that posted here, thanks for the advice.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Unfortunately people often want too much what they can't have instead of worrying about what they can.