How do I handle my husbands ex girlfriend?

[georgia peach]

About 8 years ago I met one of my husbands ex girlfriends at a group dinner with friends and I felt nothing but daggers coming from her. According to my husband, the relationship was more one sided and he never considered the brief relationship serious in any way. Now, a few of my friends want to go out to a comedy club for a girls night out and would like to include my husbands ex. I have heard that feelings might still be raw for her even after all of this time and I am not quite sure what to do. My hubby thinks the whole thing is silly after all of this time. From what I understand she is jealous of the life and love that my husband and I share. I am not the type of person to rub anything in but, if I don't go out with them, I don't want to appear afraid of the face to face meetining either. If I go, what would be the best way for me to handle this ex where it would not be so uncomfortable for either of us.

[ld25]

Hi Georgia,

I think you are making assumptions that this ex- of your husband still has feelings related to past. You have heard that she's jealous etc., which may be true or even may not be the case.

 

Imagine the scenario, she too might be feeling nervous to meet up with you and be part of that group. Atleast that she knows that you are having a happy life with someone that she had feelings for, might make her feel even more uncomfortable. But it doesn't necessarily mean that she's jealous or still has raw feelings and wouldn't be your friend or acquaintance.

 

Since you have your husband's love and affection and you are more emotionally aware of the situations, may be you could just try to carry on being in the group. You do not have to stop going out with your friends for this sake. Believe that you can face the situation and just do it. If she's being unfriendly or mean in anyway, then probably you can ignore her and stick to your other friends in the group.

 

The best way to overcome being uncomfortable would be to be the best of yourself. By this I mean, being very friendly, helpful, warm, kind and just ignoring the fact that she was your husband's ex and still treating her as one of the other group members. By this you can overcome any kind of hatred or ill-feeling etc., (even if she has).

 

I feel that jealousy creeps in when two people are in the same state/level. thereforeeee by being the best of yourself, you enhance your state to a higher level. The other person would be aware that you are at a higher state than them and this would stop them making comparisons or feeling jealousy...

 

Hope it helps..

 

Best Wishes,

LD

[DN]

I think you should go, be friendly but under no circumstances talk about your relationship with you husband or about when they were going out.

[LuvstuffNStuff]

I would go and I would carry on like there is nothing wrong, she is the one that apparently has the issues, she wants what she cant have. Let her act how she wants, the more she acts like a fool and cant handle a situation like that, and in front of others, the bigger the fool she making herself look. I would not give her the satisfaction of her even knowing this was a concern of yours, thats the rise she is seeking. The more and more she sees her actions are not getting to you, she will either give up, or someone will tell her of much of an idiot she is making herself out to be.

[georgia peach]

[i]Thank you for all the good advice. I will try to act as normal as possible when we have our girls night out even though, my gut instinct is telling me to watch my back with the ex girlfriend.

 

Thanks,

 

Georgia Peach[/i]