she asked for some time and space as she is unable to find happiness in anything

[Biki]

Hi, I am so stressed from last two days. I have been in a relationship for the last two years. But unfortunately my gf lost her mother almost a year ago and she is now grieving. I love her so much, I can't see her this way. But yesterday she asked for some time and space as she is unable to find happiness in anything.I am so concern and am feeling so helpless. I can never think of losing her. I tried my best and always did everything from my side to make her happy, neither i pressurized her to do anything.

She will now talk to me like before but will not give commitment. 

What should I do? I can't lose her at any cost. Should I give her some time, or how should I proceed?

 

 

 

 

 

[Rose Mosse]

Has she ended the relationship or told you she doesn’t want a relationship?

If you love or care for her you would respect what she’s telling you. Take the time to think about things carefully and listen to what she’s saying.

 

[Biki]

She told me that see hasn't broken up with me but just need some space and she doesn't want to give any commitment from her side now

[MissCanuck]

8 minutes ago, Biki said:

She told me that see hasn't broken up with me but just need some space and she doesn't want to give any commitment from her side now

What is the difference between this and a break-up?

 

[Biki]

I don't know

 

[MissCanuck]

4 minutes ago, Biki said:

I don't know

 

Then there's your answer, really: for all intents and purposes, it is a break-up. 

She can tell you it's not, but there is no difference between wanting space with no commitment, and breaking up. I think she is trying to let you down gently, unfortunately. 

[Biki]

No I feel like she is depressed and need help, She is ver sensitive and can hide emotions a lot. 

I need something positive

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Biki said:

 she asked for some time and space as she is unable to find happiness in anything.

Sorry this is happening. How old is she? Do you live together?

What is the real reason you two are not getting along? What is the real reason she wants space?

Do you both work? Go to school? 

It sounds like you are smothering her because of your clinging and anxiety.

Try not to be selfish or needy. Step back and give her the space she wants.

[MissCanuck]

31 minutes ago, Biki said:

I need something positive

This is up to her, Biki. 

She can't give you a relationship right now and whether or not she seeks help is entirely her call. 

 

[Biki]

we are collegemates but currently our college is closed dur to lockdown.

Am i like selfish here?

Will she come back to me when everything becomes stable in her life?

We are taking right now both pretendi to be friends which is so very difficult for me 

[MissCanuck]

1 minute ago, Biki said:

Will she come back to me when everything becomes stable in her life?

Nobody but her can answer that, and she probably doesn't even know right now either. 

But if she's not actually doing anything to help herself and stabilize her life, you might be waiting a very long time. Trying to be friends right now is not a great idea, either. I realize she needs her space but it's also important you protect your own heart here as well. 

[Biki]

I feel I should wait for sometime because I believe that she will come to me at the end. May be I have to wait a bit.

anyone here who has gone through the same experienced?

 

[Wiseman2]

10 minutes ago, Biki said:

Am i like selfish here?

Yes you're being needy and selfish. 

You need to step back and give her room to breathe.

Let her sort out her issues.

What is the real reason she wants space?

[Biki]

But I wanted to help her, I am not even thinking about me. She hasn't told me anything directly about why she need space she told me that she now have to think for her family

 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, Biki said:

 she told me that she now have to think for her family.

Ok. Let her do what she needs to do. You're not "helping her", you're smothering her.

Why can't you respect her and step back a bit?

[MissCanuck]

10 minutes ago, Biki said:

But I wanted to help he

It's normal to want to help, but by requesting space, she is implying she does not want your help. You can't do anything but respect the fact that she isn't in a position to have a relationship at this time. 

How long have you been dating, by the way?

[Biki]

okayyy I will definitely do that if she comes back to my life again

I myself can be in pain but if i get back her that's okay

[Biki]

For two and half years

[Biki]

For two and half years. Should I asked her about her problems or should I let her solve by herself?

 

 

 

 

 

[MissCanuck]

9 minutes ago, Biki said:

Should I asked her about her problems or should I let her solve by herself?

What do you want to ask her that you don't already know?

[Biki]

She may have some family problems which she hasn't told me or she may be she is not willing to tell me 

But I am just trying to help her out.

I think you can understand how I am feeling,I am feeling so helpless even after knowing she is disturbed I am unable to help her? I am feeling like I am unable to understand her here

 

 

 

 

 

 

[MissCanuck]

3 minutes ago, Biki said:

I am feeling like I am able understand her here

Understand what, specifically?

Unless you have also lost a parent yourself, you probably can't really relate. As much as you want to help her, you have to respect her decision to step back from the relationship. You don't have to wait idly by, as you're free to walk away any time, but you can't make her let you in when she doesn't want that. 

It hurts, but it's not under your control. 

[Biki]

Yes yes I got it.

Will try my best and hope I will get back her in future if God allows

[MissCanuck]

Out of curiosity, what prompted this conversation with her?

Had she been pulling away, or..?

[Biki]

Nothing prompted I guess.

Till morning she was fine for me.

woke up and said Good morning and I love you 

but then by the evening she said that I want to be alone I need some time for myself, I became so confused like what suddenly happened to her.. Two days ago it was her birthday and I saw her happy 

I never even dreamt of losing her in my life, I too have gone through many hard situation till now, lots of family pressure but I was still able to be with her