traz Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 I recently had my first real sexual experience...I received a blowjob. However, I am very disappointed because I was unable to cum. She worked really hard, and went for a long time, but through it all I wasn't extremely hard, I've been harder. And eventually she had to stop because I just wasn't cumming...I then went soft and we just talked and cuddled the whole night. However, I'm really bothered right now that I was unable to cum. Has this happened to other people during their first time? Or am I just useless? Because I feel useless right now...like I ruined the night. Link to comment
CarterJonas Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 probably down to first time nerves and your partners lack of experience. Don't worry about it, it gets better with practice Link to comment
traz Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 Just thought I'd say that she's experienced, and I'm not...I"m sure that added to my nervousness. I guess another thing I'm wondering is...if you were a girl in this situation, how would you feel towards the guy? Would you feel disappointed? upset?Because I feel terrible, like I've failed. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 traz, don't let it get you down. When I had my first time with my ex, (it was his first time too) he was so nervous and felt so much pressure to perform that he too was unable to maintain an erection or ejactulate. It happens, and I wouldn't read too much into it. Your girl spent the night with you talking and cuddling, it doesn't sound like she is devestated. Relax, I'm sure you will have other opportunities. Link to comment
CarterJonas Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 You didn't fail at anything. Why would she feel any different towards you? Link to comment
shorty20 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 ok, here's the deal. I had this problem for a few years. No matter what the guy did, I could never orgasm. I mean, it might be a little different cuz I'm a girl, but I found out what my problem was. I was always scared that while having sex, my partner was just judging me. Scrutinizing me... from my sexual preformance to the way I looked... then I got with my ex, and he taught me alot of things. First of all that guys aren't thinking that at all, but that they are just taking in everything. It may feel like they're staring, but not in a bad way. Second of all, that it's literally almost impossible to have an orgasm if you aren't comfortable with the person... at least for me. After I found that out, got rid of my insecurities, and laid back a little, I finnaly did have an orgasm during sex! I had been having sex for about 4 years by the time I finally actualy came during sex. It felt kinda weird to me that it took that long, but hey, I guess it just took the right guy to teach my how to do it... anywayz, about ur question at the end, it depends on the girl. Most guys enjoy head even if they don't come... it still feels good. If you let her know that, and seeing as you guys spent the rest of the night together, cuddled, etc... i think you'll be fine. The only way that it would make me mad if a guy didn't come is if he got mad about it, like it was my fault or something. I think you should just try again, this time, try to relax, and just be comfortable around her! Link to comment
italianstalian Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 if it helps.....i dint cum during my first blowjob either.....but i blame that on HER performance Link to comment
lady star Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 my best friend, who is a guy, very rarely cums from reeceiving oral...he enjoys it i guess, but none of his girlfriends have ever been able to make him cum....he doesn't judge them for it, its about him, not the girl. Link to comment
twizod Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 I second that...I've never gotten off from it. I think I've come close but, really, it isn't necessary as long as it is foreplay and that isn't the end of the nite. If all you get is a bj and nothing else, well, that is just cruel! Link to comment
itry Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 if it helps.. guys usually take quicker to cum during a blow job session that actual sex. once u penetrate.. watch out... during sex.. my bf will cum in about ohhh.. maybe 20 minutes or so... a blow job (and a sore jaw) takes him about 35 minutes.. with the last 15 minutes will be him claiming that he's going to cum..yeah right... Link to comment
AlleyCat Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 How old are the two of you? You said she's experienced, but even if she's done it before, that doesn't mean she knows how to do it the "right" way. If it makes you feel any better, the first time I went down on a guy, not only did he not cum, he FELL ASLEEP! It actually didn't bother me though. To be honest, I was glad because that meant I could stop... Anyway, I'm sure you'll be able to cum that way with more practice. Link to comment
Pash Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 happened to me too... she tried but to no avail... wasnt my time... I think i was too nervous and she too inexperienced Link to comment
fallslikerain Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 sorta in the same situation, only the problem didn't go away after the first couple tries- I have a topic a little lower on the list if anyone has any advice for me Link to comment
sweet_bebcho Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 You were probably nervous, happens to alot of people the first time around. I wouldnt worry about it too much Link to comment
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