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I'm sorry he lied to you - but also make sure not to let yourself get "hooked" after only a few dates.

 

I hear you Batya, you are obviously right but I just had not gone out with a man like him for a long time (apparently he was not what he was showing)... I was just mesmerized by his intelligence, wit, humour, 'seriousness' and 'tactfulness' and thought he may be the one. I am not the kind of woman who would jump quickly into the arms of men but from day one, he was constantly trying to get some sort of 'validation' from me, like 'will you prepare this for me? will you (someday) cook this for me?'... Despite me trying to brush it off politely and changing the subject (because it was a bit soon for me to give him the 'yes'), he would try to seek the 'yes' word from me to his questions... Or talking about where I would like to get married, which church, etc. Now I really don't know/ am not sure if these things constitute red flags all the time because my best friend's now husband was like this from the very beginning of their relationship, she resisted a bit but gave in later, and now they are happily married for three years..

 

 

Try not to do so much talking (not sure if this was talking prior to meeting?) - act instead -meet, go on dates (after the virus situation or socially distanced) - get to know in person and not by "talking" IMO.

 

No, despite the situation we had managed to see each other and talk for many hours I would say...

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Personal values and comfort zones come first.

If you feel comfortable with doing that, and he is as well, go for it! If you think you should wait, communicate that and take it at your own place. Make sure you are being safe of course. There are a million different opinons on "How soon is soon?", and honestly, there isn't a right or wrong answer. Its all about what you feel okay with and want to do. I hope this helps! My take on this issue is just kind of, whenever I feel like trust has been established and I can communicate with them.

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Personal values and comfort zones come first.

If you feel comfortable with doing that, and he is as well, go for it! If you think you should wait, communicate that and take it at your own place. Make sure you are being safe of course. There are a million different opinons on "How soon is soon?", and honestly, there isn't a right or wrong answer. Its all about what you feel okay with and want to do. I hope this helps! My take on this issue is just kind of, whenever I feel like trust has been established and I can communicate with them.

 

Hi Lessclue, I don't know if you read the whole thread but we actually did nothing as he revealed to me on the 3rd date that he has a girlfriend in another town with whom he does not think to have a future and wants to break up. We have just parted our ways since.

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