I'm 20 and THIS CLOSE to getting my first girlfriend, HELP!

[MovieGuy2828]

Ok, for starters i am a 20 year old male who has never been on a date, had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. I've wanted to do all of the above so much for so long it aches my very soul to know i have nobody and have never had nobody. I am an extremely romantic person who also knows that i shouldnt be that way all the time..just to keep things interesting. I have been told on many occasions that i'm too much of a nice, loving, sweet , understanding, good looking guy to be alone, but unfortunatley i am alone and am so gravely sick of it.

 

I need help......

 

I have been getting close to this girl in my technical theater course at college and people have been asking me if we are going out, "i wish" i replied. The story behind that though is..a few days ago during a lecture, while still paying attention lol, we were engaging in various forms of cuddling....holding her, arm around her, putting my head on top of her head, her feeling my belly button, her showing me a bruise on her knee and me kissing my hand and touching the spot, holding hands and other things. We have a ton in common and i get her to laugh...a lot lol. We get along really really good.

 

But shes been really busy lately and i'm desperatley trying to determine if she likes me or not...because well i really like her. I've been trying to find time to do things together, but shes graduating and stuff and has been busy so i'm hoping we can do more stuff after.

 

I really like this girl and am dying to be close to her.

 

Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated.

[MyNinja]

I FEEL FOR YOU!!

 

i can relate to you in every way. i never been out with anyone and im dying to know what it's like!!

 

if i were you, i'd muster up a glass-full of courage and when you two are alone just tell her how you feel and would like to take her to dinner to get to know her better, if she's willing. if you initiate if will show her that you are a mature and decent fellow, which im sure you are.

 

maybe you can try leaving her a nice note if the talking thing is just out of your field! good luck

[djt1m]

If you haven't already, officially ask her out. It's all about confidence and taking risks. Women like men with confidence. What's the worst that could happen?...Based on your post, I think she would be flattered...she's just been waiting for you to make your move (especially by looking at her body language -- she likes you). Go for it. Don't waste time wondering what might happen. If you wait too long, you'll probably regret it. Now, ask her out.

[VultureFury]

What are you waiting for ask her out on a date!! lunch, dinner etc. Its good you know you shouldn't be romantic that all the time, which is something ive learned recently. Dont get too attached to her like I've did. My girlFriend of 5 months broke up with me yesterday... enought of me anyways as long as your sure about how you feel, that your both happy being in each others company, which seems so, you should be fine then. As for the first kiss, it just comes naturally to me. You'll know when its the right moment to kiss her.

 

Good Luck!!

[MovieGuy2828]

well i did kinda ask her out a couple times, "i really wanna do something with you" i just havent specified exactly what tho, i mean i did ask her if she wanted to go to my house, but she was busy today, so idk. Did i mention we are both star wars lovers and have had numerous invisible lightsaber fights (she leads me 3-1-1) with one resulting in us wrestling a little on the floor, lol. Gosh i want to be with this girl so bad.

[djt1m]

Yeah, start out with low expectations. You'll probably be surprised.

 

Just casually go up to her (cool and collected) and aske her out (as if you've done it a million times). Have the mindset that she will be going out with you, and not the other way around. Be specific too. Friday night. 7:00. Tony's Italian. Be there or be hacked in two with a light-saber.

 

Also, you need to make her laugh -- that's the key to a woman's heart. Also, push and pull. Don't get all emotional involved with her. Even if you don't, show her that you have a life and that yours doesn't revolve around hers. I know, it's hard, but it guarantees success.

[VultureFury]

I agree go for it. Its right in front of you.

[MovieGuy2828]

well i asked her out again today and she said she was busy thru sunday at least so blehh

[djt1m]

Don't let that discourage you. You should appreciate the fact that she has priorities. There are many things that should come first when you're in a relationship. It makes for healthier, longer relationships. That's great that she isn't re-arranging her schedule to be with you. I know that sounds strange, but believe me, it's a good thing.

 

That's showing that she's a whole person. It's best when you have two whole people choosing to be with each other just because they want to as opposed to having the other person fill that missing part of their life. Make sure you stick to your guns. Don't change who you are. Don't pretend, for example, to like Italian food when you really can't stand it just to please her. And, make sure you hang out with your old buddies. Don't ditch them to be with your girl. That is a bad thing.

 

Don't ask her out every day. Wait a few days and say, Kung Fui Lui's, Wednesday, 7:30.

 

This site is a really great site for advice and it offers an extensive array of tips and information. I guarantee you there are several examples of your situation in there.

 

Search: ask date busy

[Spirits Away]

I don't agree on asking her unless you place yourself a few steps higher than her first. Right now, i'm sensing that you're placing your own value lower than her. This is not good. Do not ask if you're in this circumstance. Fix yourself first before you screw up your later chance with her. DON'T ASK

[djt1m]

Spirit's right. You are the prize. You are the man! She's the lucky girl that gets to go on a date with you.

[ShySoul]

Don't place yourself higher then her, it isn't right and you don't sound like a guy who would do that anyway. Consider yourselves equal. No one has the advantage and no one is better then the other.

 

I feel for you on aching to have someone special in your life. It can hurt. But now you have a golden opportunity to finally have what you've been longing for. You can't pass this up. And things seem to be working in your favor. Lightsaber duels and wrestling? Good sign.

 

You realize you have the perfect date staring you right in the face? Dinner and seeing Star Wars Episode 3. Dinner so you actually get a chance to be alone and talk, and you both know you'll like the movie.

 

Good luck young Jedi .

[Spirits Away]

Sorry if my post has been misread, it is not to my intent to sound sexist when i say place yourself few steps higher than her. Let me rephrase it. Place your value one step higher than her will gain you a bigger chance to be with her in the end than if you're lower. Equal is too shaky; one step higher.

[lonelynshy]

Wow, consider yourself lucky. This girl is definitely attracted to you (although whether she really LIKES you is another matter and only YOU can tell with time). I wish I could experience something similar. I am a few months away from being 21, never had a real girlfriend etc, never ever flirted with anyone. The most I have discussed with a girl is how nice and sunny the weather is. I am a loser...

[ShySoul]

Dates, relationships, marriage.... aren't they suppose to be 50/50? That's equal. No one should have an advantage. But really, just ask her. It sounds like a sure bet, you get along and have things in common. Thats what is going to decide if this could work.

[MovieGuy2828]

first off, thanks a lot for all your replies i GREATLY appreciate it. Anyways i figure since episode 3 comes out thursday at midnight, id ask her to go again with me friday night or something lol, i mean c'mon this is STAR WARS! lol but yeah like after i'd take her to dinnner. sounds good? yay or nay? lol

[VultureFury]

sounds good!

[ian]

I reckon Shy Soul is REALLY George Lucas tryin to plug Star Wars haha.

 

Yeah. I'm a romantic guy.

I just never seem to find anyone who would want to be my partner.

 

"It aches"

Sure does. It sucks that something so natural and has happened for..like..since time began eludes me and others so easily.

 

I AM such an understanding guy, that is something i am intensly proud of. You could say that you were a murderer and it wouldn't phase me..you'd have to be like..behind bars though haha.

 

Whats the most romantic thing you have EVER done for a lady?

[ShySoul]

Darn, you figured me out. I'm George Lucas, and I'm trying to promote my movie even more. Since obviously no one went to see it.

 

Actually, having seen the movie you get action, drama, and a tragic love story all in one. Not bad.

 

ian, I know how it hurts to be a romantic guy and not find someone who wants to be with you. Don't give up, it'll happen for you eventually.