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is this really a "red flag"?


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this is gonna be a very long post. I'd like to explain something first, he is not allowed to be in a relationship yet but he started dating me since april 2018. we dated without his parents knowing, but he already meet my parents and told them that he would like to marry me. so my parents know, but not his parents. BUT. eventually his mom found out about my instagram account and asked him some questions, like am I his friend, what my major in college is, etc. but she only said something trivial afterwards and not a dangerous thing as in to tell him to end our relationship. around two months ago (in june/early july I suppose) my boyfriend told me that his mom told something about me to his cousin that his cousin teased him about "having a girlfriend" (honestly I was so happy about this).


we are currently studying in same college, he is older than me, and his home is far away from mine, around 30 km or maybe more. when we are not in the campus, it's pretty hard to communicate, mostly we are only chatting, sometimes video calls. but it is hard to video call with him as well. he DOESN'T allow me to voice/video call him first, it MUST be him who call me first. he said, if I do it first, his mother would find out our relationship. but, from the last paragraph we could know that his mom already know at least one-two things about me, and why should it be called "found out"? also that is not the only reason, he always say something like "there are a lot of people in my house right now" fyi his family consists of his parents, his big and little brother. my friend said that this is a red flag. I don't really understand but... is it that dangerous? by the way, every time we do video calls, we don't talk, we DON'T make voices, we were just watching each other silently and sometimes giggling/laughing without voice.


lately, our relationship had worsened... so he was planning to hang out with his high school friend on july 25, and weeks before he asked me "do you wanna come?" maybe he was just joking and not serious at all, but well.. I got my hopes up. and I was hoping he really mean it. on july 24, he said to me that he will go the next day, and I said half-jokingly "you don't bring me?" but he said that it will be awkward if I come. I was childish, and I regret it. he, on his own, finally said that he cancelled his plan to hang out with his friend. I said to him just to hang out with his friend, but he said that I FORBADE HIM. I feel bad for his friend, actually... and for him moreover. I apologized non-stop and yesterday he got mad at me, saying that I didn't allow him to hang out with his friend. I know it was my fault to get my hopes up, and to expect that he would introduce me to his friends and family. he never did. some of his friends know me, but we don't really know each other like acquaintances. I feel really guilty...... I don't know what should I do to make up things. I need advices from anyone reading this post and willing to help me. thank you very much!

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