NC was a miracle than I messed up now depressed...

[regret1]

I was with this guy for three years, suddently he broke up with me to be with another girl. I did everything you guys, pleaded, begged, cried, you name it I did it for 1 and half month. I stalked him, harassed him, drove by his house. He was unmovable. Until I discovered this website, people preached the NC rule. Which I did for one week. I did not pick up his phone, no text message, no emailing. Very strict NC. Then he called me like crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy, 10-15 times a day for one week, came by my house rung the door bell like crazy, which i did not open, came to my work place and begged which I gave him the cold shoulder. Finally, we happen to cross each other at the store, he begged and told me that being with out me was the biggest mistake of this life...yada,.. yada..yada..that he could only love me. He asked me to give him 2 weeks to finish everything with the girl he is with, which I did. Now, i discovered that he is at her house. I am sooooooooo sad and sooooo depressed. Remember, no contact for at least a month, and make him work at getting you back. Do not be too easy. I feel so stupid now.

 

what do you think i should do next?

 

I am 27 years old not no teenager either.

[charlotte_skye]

hey,

 

I can understand what your feeling, most of us on here can, its a great site to help u see from other perspectives and help you let out all the emotions that tie you down, until finally u can find the strength to move on and let go.

 

The thing is that I feel i have to say is this: I dont believe that NC is for getitng them back, its to help YOU move on. Its not to be used to get them back and there is a good reason why: of course they will miss you if you disappear, they LOVE the attention THE feeding of the ego, but mostly they LOVE that u r still there, like a soft lil cushion of back up security.

 

you were together for 3 yrs, how can u not miss that security.

 

NC will almost ALWAYS get a reaction from your ex, but NOT for the right reasons, just because hes now calig YOU and coming by your house etc DOES NOT mean he loves you and actually wnats you back...........this is proven by him sayin he needed two weeks to break it off with her... HELLO...how long does it ake to tell someone our brreaking up with them??? not two weeks.

 

if he REALLY wnated you back he would have dropped her before running into you at the shop, why was he still with her while calling by your house trying to get you back?????????????/ hes obviously not that serious about it all, hes just gettin freaked out by your NC in the sense that hes loosing his lil back up, his security.

 

Even if you guys did get back together i guarantee it will not last.

 

theres reasons why he left you for somone else.

 

do NOT use NC to get him back, use it to move on.

 

You shouldnt have to ignore someone to get them to realise they love u, it doesnt work liek that, it will only make them panick at loosing the option, or hurting their ego.

 

I hope everything works out ok. use this site to help u thru

[regret1]

I saw him at his girlfriend house (yes, I stalked him). Should I confront him about this or just initiate NC immediately?

 

Help......

[LostAngel]

Hi regret1

 

You need to go NC again...

Right now he is loving the attention you are giving by being in contact & stalking him... You need to show him that you are better than this... That you deserve better.

 

Look at the last time you did NC... How when you showed him you didn't need him anymore & didn't need to have him treating you like he did...

How this changed things.... This is what you need to do.

 

Fix what you feel you have messed up --ie: breaking contact so soon & letting him come back so easily.

 

 

Do things to keep busy & ignore him totally --strict NC...

Do things for yourself... Have fun... Go out... Keep your mind off him...

 

I know how hard this can be but the more you call, stalk and etc.. You are pushing him away even more.

 

You need to show him you are worth more.

 

He needs to regret letting you go

 

 

Hang in there

 

 

 

LostAngel

[h_b_k_02]

 

 

He needs to regret letting you go

 

 

LostAngel

 

Well put.

 

We were dumped, we don't live with the regret they do. It is just as hard on them as us.

 

Now by doing NC, they feel regret and it eats at them because they start to wonder, "Hey, where is she to find out what I'm up to? Maybe she doesn't care any more, what have I done?"

 

Quicker the NC, the quicker the solution to your problem.

[regret1]

Thank you so much for the advice, as of right now (as I type) I will initiate NC. I will keep you update. People, please, please, once you initiate NC do not let him into your life so easily...make sure you do it at least 1 or 2 months. Learn from my mistakes. Trust me, he begged me. He promised the world...saying that he was faithful and that I am the only girl that he loves. He still preaches it now.

 

Learn from the others first, I wish I came here to ask advice before let the loser used me again, and again. Then being dumped again.

[masterman_05]

I can not believe that the only advice you were given that had the onlyl obvious and LOGICAL back up to it was charlotte_skyes and you completely ignored it.

 

Everyone preaches nc like it is what makes the rship work again, it may get him al worried n nervous just like thye said but it WONT make him stay with you.

 

he has a new gf and he is still with her even tho hes been begin n promisin you these things bout lovin u and wnatin to get bk together and yet u still think that he loves u??? you think that if u ignore him he will comeback n u will live happily ever after ......HARDLY.

 

u shouldtn HAVE to ignore him. talking about why u broke up,, how u feel, being honest is best chance of making it last if u do get back together.

 

he has only started to beg because he lost his back up. ppl love havin someone around, like cheaters or have gfs, esp someone he knows wont leave like you, u guys were 2gether for 3 yrs, hes havin his cake n eating it too, he doesnt wanna loose the security u offer.

 

stop listening to what u wanna believe and face the facts.

 

1. he left you

2. he didnt care till u ignore dhim

3. are you together now?

4. is there a GOOD reason why? a good reason like hes dead, or in hopspital in a coma

5. has he got a new gf?

 

cmon darl face facts.

 

look up soime of dragon girls stuff, she explain how nc desnt work.

 

its to heal not get em back

[regret1]

Masterman, and charlotte_skyes,

 

You guys are right, I was doing so fine before, starting to feel so much better...now I am in square 1. I cannot sleep, eat, or function properly.

I used NC as a game, which I thought I was winning, then, being a fool, gave him free sex, now he dumped me again. He still preaches that he loves me and not the other girl. Why do I believe? I guess because i am stupid. Oh well, I need to shake the dirt off me and start a new life. i am like a walking zombie. I need serious help. I have not slept for two days...because I have been so depressed.

 

You guys are great, I wish I posted before for advice.