We cant stand the distance, what can i do?

[IamJacksColon]

I am in love with a man named Jonathan, we met via a mutual friend, Greg. we both love the same music, bands, games, religions, philosophy, EVERYTHING. we never disagree, and were both very open about our love. i met him online, but we live 3 hours apart, i went to go visit him once and it was a blast! we had the best time, we are both extremely attracted to each other, both physically and emotionally, but its so hard with the distance! i try, but so far the most we get to see each other is maybe once a month. every time we are together, its just that much harder to be appart. we both know its hard, and if we were older, we would be together forever, but our ties to our families and school keep us separated. what should i do? he tels me that he is worried about the distance, its hard on him as well as me. it hurts so much, but is it worth it? theres alawys an answer..... I just dont want to lose him, ever.

 

-Linnea-

[hk87]

Hey, I know exactly how you feel. I've just split up with my boyfriend, because we lived too far apart, and so long went past before we met each time. Although we really liked each other, it simply wasn't working. I wish I could say something, but if you live that far, and with all your other committments, it's just not going to work. If it was meant to be, you will get together when your older. sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear. My boyfriend and me could just never get into each other enough because we had so little time. We should have given each other more, but couldn't. I didn't want to lose him either, eventually I had to admit that it was best for both of us.

Good Luck. Hannah xxx

[whatfor]

hey be happy you get to see him once a month! I am also in an LDR and i get to see my bf once in months! And there are many couples like that. Plus we also have problems or we would be living together already now. If you love each other then you will be together in the end. Just be strong.

 

 

and hey i have to disagree with the previous poster.. - if it didnt work for you, it DOES NOT mean that it wont work for her ok? People that want to be together always make it work.

[hk87]

I didn't mean IT WOULD NEVER WORK FOR HER, I simply meant, that when your still at school, with so many otehr committments, trying to keep a boyfriend on the go aswell, is very difficult, espcially when it's a in a LDR.

[whatfor]

I didn't mean IT WOULD NEVER WORK FOR HER

I wish I could say something, but if you live that far, and with all your other committments, it's just not going to work.

sure....

 

anyway Linnea dont give up, you live only 3 hours apart and in the same country, you will be together if you want to be.

[easyguy]

Hey, you're lucky you don't live 12 hours away like mine. Just do the best with what you have and don't give up.

[Zimetra]

Hey, you're lucky you don't live 12 hours away like mine. Just do the best with what you have and don't give up.

 

 

This is what separates me from my bf:

 

- 10 hours flight

- 14 hours flight if including check-in and immigration procedure

- 6 time zones

- 1 language barrier

- 1 missing green card

- 3 kids

- loads of inter-cultural prejudices

- and so on

 

And we are still together.

 

Don't give up!

[ayekasong]

Before I came to Japan, I was only 3 hours from my boyfriend as well. I got to see him only once a month if I was lucky. We are still together, over an even greater distance. It is hard, yes, but it can work. I think that if you are both willing to try it out, then go for it.

[Care_With_A_Pen]

Hello!

I'm in a LDR myself right now. My bf and I met in a (MN) chat one night last month. We hit it off great. We have a bit of a problem though because he lives in a different city and so do I. We do however talk online durning the weeks when I'm here working with my parents and on weekends sum times we talk but not much because he is hanging out with friend's or doing other things. I just told him I want us together next yr and for the rest of our lives and he agrees I just hope we can make it that long cause I really love him and he loves me. So hold on sweetie u'll make it throug this of your strong (I'm pretty sure u are) don't give up on it if you love him and all that good stuff that comes with love.

 

Bye,

Care

[suziep]

wow, once a month! thats loads! Like Zimetra this is what separates me from my bloke..

 

- 1 x 2 hour flight

- 1 x 9 hour flight

- 1 x 14 hour flight

- immigration

-then a 2 hour train trip

as well as

- university

 

We get to see each other for 3 months, then spend 5 months apart and we've been doing it like that for awhile.

 

If you really want it to work out, FIND a way. ..and don't let people tell you that LDRs don't work. Some do, some don't but its up to you to find out

 

good luck!

[dawn23]

Hi suziep, Zimetra, ayekasong and everyone else

 

This is what separates me from my guy:

 

4-hour drive from my house to the airport

10-hour flight

1-hour train ride into Tokyo

4-hour bullet train ride north

another 2-hour train ride to his hometown (in Japan)

a taxi ride from the train station to his home

 

Then there's his job:

 

6 days a week, 12-15 hours a day (and all he's trying to do is finish it up so he can come live in the States; he's got 2 years left of his contract.)

 

My job:

 

I've got a great job right now and should keep it if we intend to have something for him to come to and for us to have together in 2 years.

 

And, on an everyday level, he's 16 hours ahead of me! (So, when it's 11:00 p.m. Saturday for me it's 3:00 p.m. Sunday for him. ) I'm getting ready for bed and he's still in work mode.

 

Oh yeah! And he speaks Japanese, I speak English. (Minor detail.) He speaks some English though (very well, I think) and I speak a little Japanese (and I'm studying my butt off), so...

 

Still I believe in our ldr and I know how really blessed we are to have found each other.

 

 

[Duff]

hey, i was in a similar position to yourself. They day I left college I went to live/work overseas and ended up meeting someone from that country. I was there for about a year and we were inseperable the whole time. Basically after a while I left to return back home to start a better career, however she had to stay where she was due to studying commitments. We stayed in touch and agreed she would come and live with me once she had finished her studying - in 18 moinths time. Now, we were only 2 hours away on a plane but nevertheless, we are apart and it was always going to be hard as other know.

 

My advice to you, through my own experience is alway always speak on the phone, tell each other what you have done that day, perhaps email or chat using MSN. The best thing for me was reassurance, we would send each other pictures, naughty pics sometimes, cards, presents. I was fortunate enough to fly to see her at least once a month. This went on for 18 months but it all came down to one thing - we always told each other we knew what we wanted and to just KEEP THE FAITH - we will be together in the end so anyone who had doubted us over this time could get lost. If he feels as strong about you as you do him then I have faith in you both.

 

Now I understand some people have to go a lot longer without seeing each other and sometimes a LDR can last for years but Im so proud of what I and my girlfriend have achieved - we trusted, we kept strong, we always had a clear goal that we knew one day we would not have to say goodbye at the airport once again. She now lives with me and we are both very happy!

 

YOU CAN DO IT, JUST KEEP THE FAITH

[Dannysgirl]

Hi Linnea,

 

I know it seems hopeless at the moment but don't give up. My husband and I were in a transatlantic LDR for a year while I was finishing university before we married in December. We only saw each other for a few weeks during that time. Having been together for almost six months now we could not imagine being apart for one day, and still marvel at how we managed it.

 

LDR's are hard but they do have their advantages in the long term. My husband and I attribute the health of our relationship now to the fact that we basically could do nothing but talk for so many months and as a result know each other inside and out and communicate excellently in every way as a result.

 

LDR's also help you to appreciate each other more. There is nothing better than finally being with the person that you have yearned to be with for so long and we never ever forget what we have been through and how all of that pain was ultimately worth it in the end.

Your boyfriend sounds like he is the one and if he is, you will be kicking yourself for the rest of your life if you let him go.

I know how you feel, I nearly broke up with Danny more than once because the distance was making me so unhappy but we kept at it, and look at us now. He is my soul mate and I would be lost without him. Its difficult to find somone who totally completes you in this world and you never know when or if it will happen again. Make sure you don't lose yours, it will be worth it in the end I promise you.

 

 

Hang in there Linnea,

 

Nia