Living with an ex boyfriend after 2 years

[neille]

I I split up with my boyfriend over 2 years ago but we have carried on living together. I also live with another male friend who was originally his flat mate when I moved in with him. About 3 months ago I started to have feelings for our flat mate and him for me but I have been unable to tell my ex, as I don't want to hurt his feelings. My ex boyfriend has found someone new and I feel so jealous and upset, I keep comparing it to our relationship that we had and its driving me made! He keep talking about her and showing me pictures etc and I am just not handling it well at all. We both know when we decided to carry on living together that we would have to deal with each other meeting people but why do I feel so jealous and hurt. I don't want to move out because me and my flat mate want to have a relationship but at the same time it hurts to see my ex with some else. I know that if I weren't living in the same house I wouldn't know what his was up to who he was seeing etc but I am and I just don't know what to do. Why do I feel like this, I have met someone and I am happy, why do I feel so depressed? This is also starting to effect how i am with the new person. I could really do with your thoughts and advice.[/b]

[thefields]

well ^^, you 2 must have done quite a few things together than made you happy, or else that feeling wouldnt carry on as long as it should. Plus, your heart is still hanging on to him..theres some unresolved answers you havent found yet. Maybe sit down with him, and just tell him how you are still feeling, just so you can move on.

[lady00]

I don't want to move out because me and my flat mate want to have a relationship but at the same time it hurts to see my ex with some else.[/b]

 

Okay, so there are two things going on here. 1) you're not over your ex and 2) you like this other guy.

 

So I'm just wondering: why can't you move out and date the flatmate? I don't understand when you say you don't want to move out because you want to date him. Wouldn't it make more sense to move out and then start dating him? Don't you think it would be super awkward to date your ex's friend while still living in the same place with both of them? The other thing is...you haven't had any time and space away from your ex to heal. Living with an ex is never a good idea because when you break up you need time to yourself to get over it...seeing them bring someone else home is too difficult and you shouldn't have to deal with it. Also, are you sure you are really into the other guy or are still on the rebound? It's probably not a good idea to date until you're more over your ex than you are.

Bottom line: Move out. It'll save you a lot of grief.