Anger problem...any ideas on how i can handle it?

[Jitrenda]

I have an anger problem. When i was dating my ex (i broke up with him 4 months ago)...whenever he was angry at me he used to push me, hit me, or suffocate me with a pillow. I am no longer with him...but now i seem to have an anger problem (i guess i picked it up from him)

 

See the thing is i get angry really easily these days. I angry at the tinest things. I usually cry or swear. But if i am really really angry i hit walls and my dressers. I NEVER hit people. I don't want to turn into him. But i know i have a problem. I was wondering if anybody knew of any ideas on how i can handle it? Like would there be a certain type of martial arts that would be great for handling anger?

 

I don't want it to get to the point where i hit the nearest thing i c or the person i am mad at! Please help! i need a handle on this!

 

thank you for your advice and answers!

[Katelyn55655]

Anger problems can't morph from one body to another. Your bf had no right to take his anger out on you. But in order to deal with your anger you need to 'own' it...take responsibility for it and stop blaming him.

 

There are anger management classes/therapy in the states. Don't know what's available in Canada. If you want to do it on your own, I'd suggest intensively working out every day until your muscles ache to release the stress. Anger puts a great deal of stress on your body so it needs to be released asap. When you feel angry WALK AWAY from the source and shift your thoughts to how you are breathing. Acknowledge your anger then let it go. Breath slowly and make sure you are getting enough air into your lungs.

 

Most important is to walk away from the source and stay away until you start feeling rational again. It's also OK to punch and abuse pillows, etc. not people.

 

There are therapists trained in anger management. Also, there are lots of good self-help books on this topic. Good luck!

[dextro]

well I may be a young person, im actually 20, but I study a few things about anger, hatred and emotions like that. First, that's a good thing you know where the problem came from. Second, you have to know what makes you angry, what does affect your behavior. Thirdly, you need to think of an activity that would make you feel better. Martial arts is not a good idea at my point of view, cause you wont listen to your master but to your anger, and that way it will control you. Maybe some kind of meditation, walk on the sunshine, take some time for you. Never forget that there is only one thing you can't buy in life, it's happyness. I hope I helped you a bit.

 

Jeff l. Spiegel

[SympatheticLoner]

Did u ever fight back when ur bf was attacking u? if not, that might be where ur anger came from, tolerating him for so long. Once in a while, i would let out my angry and "play" with my punching bag. You might think i'm not a good role model, but i live with my anger everyday with these bitches at school. When i get angry, i try not to show it, it takes a lot of training to increase your tolerance.

 

Suggestions:

 

1. When a little angry: Take DEEP breaths

2. When angry: Pinch yourself hard depending on how angry u are...

3. When VERY angry: Imagine "images" in your brain with the person ur angry with instead of hitting them in reality.

 

Hope it helped...