Gaslighting

[figureitout23]

I'm not proud to say that I've gaslit. Long ago, when I was young and dumb, didn't know myself, was hiding from myself, didn't have the spine to be called out about who I was. It wasn't intentional. It was a broken piece of myself I hadn't reckoned with. Having reckoned with it, I can say I did because it's a lot easier to deflect your own bs than to deal with it. It's also a terrible way to be, disrespectful of others' feelings.

 

My last gf gaslit me hard. She cheated, lied, made me feel like everything was my fault even as she was the one engaging in indefensible behavior. Fun! How did I handle it? By remembering my past toxic self, knowing that toxic is toxic and toxic, and walking away.

 

Many people don't realize that they are gaslighting. Like wiseman stated:

 

The term "gaslighting" has been used colloquially since the 1960s to describe efforts to manipulate someone's perception of reality."

 

 

Its a common occurrence in relationship, but if it were called 'deflecting' it wouldn't be a popular buzzword thrown around would it?

 

It becomes dangerous when its used by abusers. Nothing about you says abuser, just when you were younger, you were self centered and maybe a bit cocky? So you acted in that manner and didnt take responsibility for you actions. Welcome to the club, many people do this in relationships, especially when young.

 

To me the differences are day and night. I don't know, sometimes it seems like everyone wants to be abused... its odd to me. I was and I hate that I was, I hate that its a part of my history, I don't consider it a badge of honor.

 

Good for you for recognizing bad habits, but don't beat yourself up too much. And I'm very glad you got out of that unhealthy relationship!!!