sick of being a 42yr old virgin

[mrdagger]

I am a man that is sick of being a virgin I have never been out with a female, its not that I havent ask out woman its just for some reason woman are not interested in me, I have been shot down from every one from girls that have told me they are sexually active to cheating married women. I know my self esteme is in the toilet but its hard to face the world anymore knowing that for some reason my sexual status will never change. I have even received advice from woman that I am just not at the right place at the right time (bullshit to that) I had a woman even say to me that looking at me she could tell that no woman would want to be with me because no one wants someone with no experience especially an older man thats a virgin. had I known my life would have been like this I would have ended it long ago.

[Heretic]

I don't think that's true. Some women like to teach a guy what to do.

 

Your problem might be your confidence or your approach. If you just ask women to have sex with you it won't work.

 

What exactly are you doing to try to get women to have sex with you?

 

Where are you meeting these women?

 

Please elaborate.

[mrdagger]

Do you really think I come right out and ask women for sex read the post I could never in a million years ask such a question it takes all my courage just to talk to women do you really think I have any kind of confidence to ask a woman for sex plus wouldnt you have to first kiss a woman to even get to that stage I have not even kissed a woman let alone ask them questions. As for my approach I know you have to be a friend first but what happens is that woman take advantage of the friendship and leave me high and dry wondering if it was something i did or didnt do. I have never ever even broached the subject because I have never had the opportunity to ever get that close to a woman. Ill give you some insite into my life I once asked a neighbor who I was friendly with out just some harmless lunch in the middle of the day, she of course said no next thing I know is the police are at my door telling me to leave the nieghbor alone. I moved out the next week just so happens she stopped in were I work and told 2 coworkers that I was weirdo and get this her exact words " has this guy even been out on a date" well the embarrassment forced me to quit that job.

[Jitrenda]

Dude!

 

I think you're approach is all wrong! you are so wound up wanting to have sex (i applaud you for not going to a hooker)...but i think right now you have to focus on having a friendship with a female, getting to know her and treating her right. The sex comes after. Sex is a bonus...if you want a meaningless relationship...well that is your choice...but just be a friend to the women you meet and everything will fall into place. Don't expect sex. And if you ask for sex of course (90% of us anyway) well say no! We want to be treated as a person and not as a piece of flesh (although that is how men treat us anyway.) Just be a friend and in time you will date and thereafter have sex...and btw there are women out there you like men who are virgins...they think it's sweet and get to teach them.

 

Good luck!

[C-A]

First of all, I can understand your self-esteem is down, who are the people that are around you? Its an important aspect if you have a friendly and motivating people and atmosphere around you. What I mean is your friends. Choose the people that are around you because if they bring your morale down its not good to your mental health at all. It would really dig in your mind permanently which causes all sorts of trouble like depression. Choose the place where you can meet and interact with women confortably.

 

As for being a virgin, c'mon! I dont see any big fuss about it. Do you have to tell them you are a vigin??? If you are "clever" enough you could seduce a girl up to the point of "no return" even though you never had first hand experience before. Well I dont think you are that clue less when it comes to the real action. But if you are, they are alternatives to educating yourself(you know what I mean).

 

Life is pessimistic, row against the waves and tides of life, be more optimistic.

[mrdagger]

I JUST WANT A FRIEND I AM OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT SEX IS NOT A GIVEN I AM SICK OF BEING ALONE I JUST WANT A FRIEND ITS BEEN THIS LONG WITH NO SEX I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE A FRIEND THAT SHOWS AT LEAST SOME INTEREST IN ME i KNOW i HAVE ALOT OF LOVE TO GIVE i REALIZE THAT SEX WILL COME EVENTUALLY IF ITS THE RIGHT PERSON. i CANT STAND IT ANYMORE BEING ALONE FOR 42 YEARS SUCKS i AM A GOOD PERSON BUT FOR SOME REASON NO ONE SEES THIS I NEVER HAVE EVER HURT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING FEELINGS IN MY LIFE BUT I SEE GUYS TREATING THEIR GIRLFRIENDS LIKE SH*T ALL THE TIME BUT THEY STILL KEEP GOING BACK FOR MORE WHILE LOSERS LIKE ME SIT ON THE SIDELINES SCRATCHING OUR HEADS SAYING WHAT THE F**K. EVERY DAY i GET MORE AND MORE DEPRESSED ABOUT THIS . BY THE WAY THE POLICE THING REALLY BLEW MY MIND 7 YEARS AGO THAT HAPPENED i HAVENT ASKED OUT A SINGLE WOMAN BECAUSE I AM AFFRAID OF THE POLICE KNOCKING ON MY DOOR AGAIN. i LIVE A PEACEFUL NONVIOLENT NON COMBATANT LIFE. i DONT KNOW WHAT PEOPLE THINK WHEN THEY SEE ME THAT THEY HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE JUST BECAUSE i ASKED THEM OUT

[Heretic]

Wow, that's harsh. (in reference to your story)

 

I'm not sure what's going on. I agree with Jitrenda getting a hooker is a bad idea and you not doing that shows great character.

 

I'm not sure it must be your mannerisms... ummm... you know what you need? You need to join a club of some sort! Do you enjoy any sports? If not maybe you should join Tai Chi or something. You're allowing yourself to be victimized and it seems that's because you don't have any outside support. I mean if you have friends that let you quit the job or even move, that's not right.

 

Your neighbour has some serious problems, I hope you realize that's not your fault if I was you I would have gone to the police and said she had visited your work place and has been spreading slander. Explain she has some weird stalking problem. That's really messed up.

 

Get some good friends that will help you stand on your feet and do some nice things for yourself, by a fragant soap, get a fancy haircut, buy some new clothes, something like that. Next thing you know you'll feel great about yourself.

 

Good Luck.

 

P.S.

 

I girls go back to their boyfriends because they feel it's their fault that he's mad. It's important to understand they don't want that, they want a nice guy you just need to be more approachable. As well if you are a nice guy you need to understand they are probably telling you the worst parts of their relationship... that's your role to listen to the crap and agree that their boyfriend is an jerk when they vent. You need to change that role by becoming more confident. Don't turn into an jerk yourself though, that's not what they like about them, it just looks that way to you.

 

Edited to add PS and remove language.

[S4il]

dagger dude..hey I'm a virgin myself and I'm not afraid to say it to girls, they laugh at me and or giggle. Doesn't bother me I'm not affected by Pro dominate humans with suggestive comments towards me directly in a negative way. thats just my EGO. WHATS A EGO when you have LOVE. love for yourself is what you need, Confidence, Character, So what if someone called the police, She was the one who was insane for calling them. (think about all the laughs about that at the Police station someone calling the cops cause a guy asked a girl out for dinner) listen, FLIP the SCRIPT change yourself, confidence a must have for starters...No one is going to hold your hand while your getting your first piece of a**...and no one should be holding it when you meet the women your trying to DATE....its on you, and only you.. be yourself and Good Luck -peace...

[Katelyn55655]

It must be frustrating. It also sounds like you are afraid of and intimidated by women and that's what comes accross. The comment that one woman made was uncalled for, but you might have appeared overly anxious or nervous to the extent that she was a little frightened of you.

 

I don't know where you live, but your comments made me think of a friend of mine (age 47) who wants to get used to hanging around men, so she is going out and doing that. She has joined a couple of clubs where there are lots of men...not for the purpose of dating, just to get used to the company of men.

 

Maybe what you need to do to conquer your fear is join clubs and/or do volunteer work where lots of women are present. Whatever you do, DON'T ask any of the women out as a bf or friend. Just get used to doing activities around women (and some men) until you start to feel relaxed and at ease most of the time. Learn how to talk with women without having a goal in mind. Learning how to be relaxed and confident around women will build your self-esteem, and your new-found self-assurance will be more evident to the women you will eventually approach for dates.

 

Looks and appearance also matter. Do you make sure you are well-groomed and well-dressed? Do you smell good and keep your hair cut? Women love that deodorant spray "Axe." Would it be helpful to shed a pound or two at the gym? There are lots of women at local gyms. Anything you do that makes you feel better about yourself would help.

 

I agree wth the other post. Visiting a hooker isn't the best option, but as a last desperate resort, it would be one way to get experience!!

 

Just do what you have to do to start feeling better about yourself.

 

Good luck!

[AN]

Have you ever consider that maybe you're just really ugly? I see a lot of ugly people who get hot spouses from different countries. If they want to be in America enough...and you have the money...you can get one too.

[chica_amber]

i agree with heretic(for once) dont worry about it. work on your approached and of course dont go up to woman and ask for sex. thats a "NO NO". lol. but hey, if you want, like me, save yourself for your wife or your true love. i know it sounds corny but some women find that romantic. good luck!

[mrdagger]

First of all I would and will never use the services of a hooker and second I am not ugly I'm a part time actor / model as an actor in a role it is no problem speaking to women outside of that well thats a differant story as for money I have plenty of that, going to another country, there are more than enough beautiful women here in the good old USA. I have read countless books about relations saying dont expecting to much in a relationship, being understanding supportive etc. but what good is it if I cant seem to get over this shyness stumbling block I have been to a few doctors and all they want to do is perscribe depression medicine which I dont want I would like to find the root of my problem. Thank You people for responding and offering suggestions

[Katelyn55655]

MrDagger, it's common to feel uncomfortable at the thought of taking drugs for depression. But maybe in this case you should listen to your doctors. Why do you resist their suggestions? What is stopping you from transforming your life?

 

I have a co-worker who was seriously depressed and resisted taking medication. But finally she got tired of feeling miserable so her Dr. put her on Elavil. She is a different person on medication. She is relaxed and tons more fun to be around. She feels content with her life.

 

You say you want to help yourself? Do it.

[dextro]

well, hi mister, im talkin to the person who wrote this story. I know you can feel really depressed, I can't understand your anger but I can imagined it. My point is not there, I just want to know why you blame other guys that threat their girl like SH*T as you said. Don't you think that because you never had a girlfriend that makes you someone special? Don't you think you would be like other guys if not?? I'm just askin questions and read this carefully if you had all the girls you always wanted won't you threat the girl like SH*T too?

 

I don't say you will, the only thing I say is that you wouldn't be the person you are today so do you a favor don't blame anyone but yourself. Sorry if im bein a bit harsh. I'm 20 year old so you can complain by the fact that im pretty young.

 

Jeff l. Spiegel