Do you mind your partner watching porn? Please help!

[MissCanuck]

My ex had serious anger problems too, OP. I know that feeling of walking on eggshells.

 

But you said something interesting - that if he tried to get help, maybe he could change.

 

But he isn't really trying, is he?

[dancingapple]

My ex had serious anger problems too, OP. I know that feeling of walking on eggshells.

 

But you said something interesting - that if he tried to get help, maybe he could change.

 

But he isn't really trying, is he?

 

He was. At the start. In highschool when we were friends who ate lunch together when no one else was there and talked occasionally outside of school he was sweet, then just before graduation he became friends with an who got him into smoking, both cigarettes and weed. He treated my boyfriend like garbage and used him for his money. My boyfriends personality changed, he became more like this , they moved in with another friend, then something happened where my boyfriend moved out. Then he moved in with our mutual friend and he helped my boyfriend Realise he’s not the same guy he was before. I eventually started to see him more and more as he was now really good friends with my group. And when we started dating we got to that point where we were getting to know each other on a more personal level, and we were honest with each other. Told him he could smoke if he pleases, because thats his choice and it wasnt going to mess with our relationship but that i also didnt want to see someone else i care about die due to their use of cigarettes (2 is enough). A few days later he told me he wanted to quit and asked for my help when he felt a craving. I agreed and it worked (for a bit until he started again, lied a few times)...but eventually the hard work paid off.

 

Recently though, he just wants to do what he wants to do, wont change. I mean a month ago he was looking at anger management because he got his coverage plan and was looking at places. But for maybe half an hour and then didnt bother looking again or telling me he found anything. So its like he wants to try and get help for himself but then gives up as fast as he started.

[MissCanuck]

If he just wants to do what he wants to do, then you need to be asking yourself how compatible you two really are, given that he does these things on his own volition whether you agree with it or not. He is free to do as he chooses, just as you are, of course. But you have to define what your deal-breakers are.

 

You don't have to agree with porn. That's your choice. But it is obvious he's going to continue to watching it, which is also his choice. So you need to decide if this is something you feel strongly enough about to end the relationship. The same goes for him lying about it.

 

But I wonder, how has your relationship been in general lately? It seems there is a bigger emotional and intimate disconnect between you two.

[Trip2TheSky4]

Watching porn is not a form of cheating or anything to get into an argument over. End of story.

 

You need to reassess the situation in your head and hopefully you'll come to the conclusion of how petty this is. You should also apologize to your boyfriend and just accept the fact that everyone masturbates and most of mankind watches porn.