im always scared away, whats my deal?

[lovelostlady]

first off, i saw the dude who dumped me a couple weeks ago on friday night. i knew he was in this place when i walked in and i was sitting in another section. i dont like hate him but i felt too weird just walking up to him and acting like everythings cool. my friend was over there talking to him, and i overheard him ask who she was with and she said me. after that apparently he kept peering over into my room looking for me, my other friend told me this as my back was facing him. then i was getting up to do something and when i was walking back, he was staring right at me and giving me this sorta sad look that i dont know how to describe. it was weird. i caught it, but i wasnt looking back long enough to feel obligated to say something. i know he said he wanted us to be friends still and all but he must understand that its too weird right now and that that will take time. then when i was leaving his friend waved bye to me and i waved back. then he (the guy who dumped me) gave me this weak sorta "idont know if you want to wave back at me" wave, but i waved back. i guess he was just feeling guilty or something. any interpretation?

 

anyways, my point of this post has nothing to do with that story. it seems like ill sorta have a crush on a guy and I enjoy the flirting and the returned interest but the second he starts to seem like hes trying to actually pursue something with me, like that he might ask me out on a date, i sorta back off and get freaked out. this has happened twice just recently. im definitely not the type that likes playing games at all. i wouldnt say its just the thrill of the chase that i love either. the guy most recently i could actually see myself with, like in a relationship. yet still i dont want him to ask me out. could it be that i simply dont want a relationship right now? maybe i just need to enjoy the single life for awhile?

[Random Hero]

God, I am always doing stupid things like that. Like missing a perfect opurtunity to show that I am interested or to ask someone out, then I think about it later and drive myself insane.

 

I think maybe you would just be best of if you just really took the time to think things over, because you could live to regret not showing more interest.