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Best friend or possible boyfriend?


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I (27f) have been friends with my best friend (27m) for almost nine years. We met in freshman year of college and became instant best friends, currently we live in different states due to work. We have both helped each other through school, rough relationships, and personal issues, pretty much everything even when he was overseas for a few years. I know all of his friends and he knows all of mine. My family and friends have all said that he likes me. We are flirty with each other and we contstantly remark how well we get along/understand each other.


Although I have identified as what now is considered pansexual I have primarly dated women. In the last 5 months I have been more interested in men and have been dating. When I first told him that I was interesting in dating men again he quickly got off the phone. We keep each other updated about romantic relationships, but he completely shuts down (one word answers over the phone, seems uninterested) when I have recently talking about this new guy and changes the subject. When I asked him if he thought this new guy was interested, he was the only one of my friends that said no, that I should stop persuing him.


He has been talking this girl that I introduced him to two years ago when I was in my last relationship, and I have discovered that I still may feelings for him. I was turned off from talking to him about it before due to an experience in college six years ago when he said that he saw me and our close mutual friend (that did like him) as just friends when we were all hanging out. I don't want this to be too long (and I could give more detail) but I wanted some outside perspective.

Thank you!

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Hi, wiseman2, thanks. I generally think we are really great friends too. If we only stay friends I would welcome that.Yes, I did think that was an indicator of his interest, but maybe I'm reading too much into it. In addition, he has invited he to go to his graduation (which admittedly I thought was a friendly gesture) wants our parents to meet each other, has invited me to go with him to a large sporting event a few years away, etc.

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