crickets99 Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Hi all, Just to give a background on my story. I was in a short term relationship with a girl for 7 months. We are both 28. She was the love of my life and i fell for her the minute i met her. For 7 months our relationship was intense and i felt like we were together longer. We were both so in love with each other, we saw and slept over each others houses 3-4 times a week. Talked about marriage & kids, nearly moved in together after a couple of months. We met each others families and that all went down really well. We always had amazing times together and i really thought she was the one...I found her not only being my lover but also my best friend that i never had. We really understood each other so well and she did so much for me and helped me so much in a lot of areas in my life. Come to our problems....We both suffer mental health issues which i feel put a massive strain on the relationship. When we both had depressive episodes we found it hard to be around one another because of how draining they were and it would make the other person feel crappy and drained. There were some nights i just couldnt be around her because, her depressive state was starting to impact my mental state so i stayed away for a few days untill she was feeling a bit better. The one thing that bugged me a lot was the fact that every week of her life there was always a drama going on. Be it with her job, her parents/friends or family, there was always something.....It became emotionally draining at times. Also being an introverted person i am, i also value my own personal space which she didnt really understand and took it as me not wanting to spend time with her when in fact after coming home from a stressful days work (my job is very demanding) sometimes i just wanted to be left alone, and to recharge my batteries on my own. Where as if it were up to her, she'd want to spend close to every night together which i found a bit much for me and i knew i wasnt ready to move in with her just yet. In the last month of our relationship, i lost my job and was in financial hardship so i was really stressed and fell back in to depression. I vented a lot to her and at times took out my frustrations on her which i regret and i think this pushed her away and made her reconsider the relationship. We were fighting and arguing a fair bit towards the end. On the week of our break up, she was very distant and cold and i knew we needed to talk and she agreed. She tells me she wants to travel long term and live overseas in her future and obvisously this didnt match up with my future plans as i have no intentions of traveling and living overseas anytime soon and that i wanted to build my career where i currently live. She then tells me she thinks we have too many incompatibilities and doesnt think they are fixable and that we should just break up. Right away i tell her that our issues are workable and im willing to do whatever it takes to fix them because i want us to work. But i can tell shes already made up her mind and just wants to break up with me. I was hurt, devastated and i lashed out and said some hurtful things to her which i REGRET BIG TIME and that was the icing on the cake for her. She tells me its over, deletes me from social media accounts and even though i sent her so many texts the next day apologising for my actions and for my part in the relationship which contributed to our problems, she doesnt seem to care. She thanked me and i never heard from her ever again. Fast forward to now and its been 2 weeks and she hasnt reached out. I have blocked her on my social media so i cant check up on her or contact her on there and i would say shes probably deleted my number too, i dont know. I am a mess. I am on a waiting list for therapy but im having a hard time moving on. I know i made mistakes and i could of been a better partner in a lot of ways. I take responsibility for that, but i hate the fact i had to lose the love of my life over it. She wasn't perfect either but i was willing to work on our issues to save us, where as i felt she didnt want to. Now the thought of never seeing her or hearing from her ever again is killing me. I would atleast like to be friends in the future because before we got together she was a good friend. She was the first person to show me what true love felt like and i screwed it up badly by not living up to her expectations and then making matters worse with my stress from my job/money.... I can never forgive myself for this. I just want another chance :( Please tell me what to do!! Will she ever contact me again? Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 OP, you need to look at this realistically and logically for a moment: Aside from the break-up drama, you two have incompatible future goals. She wants to travel and live abroad, while you don't. That won't go away with her accepting your apologies. How do you envision that working out? Link to comment
crickets99 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 Because I don’t know how serious she was with that claim...I don’t know if that was a spur of the moment thought on her behalf...she never mentioned this prior before getting in to a relationship with me, only towards the end when we are having problems...if this was something she truly wanted to do, why get into a relationship in the first place knowing you won’t be in it for the long haul?? Even so I don’t see why we can’t be friends down the track? Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Because I don’t know how serious she was with that claim...I don’t know if that was a spur of the moment thought on her behalf...she never mentioned this prior before getting in to a relationship with me, only towards the end when we are having problems...if this was something she truly wanted to do, why get into a relationship in the first place knowing you won’t be in it for the long haul?? Even so I don’t see why we can’t be friends down the track? Because sometimes things go sour, OP. That isn't something one can predict when they first start dating someone; that's what dating is about. Sometimes it works, and sometimes a couple discovers there are too many problems and it's better to go your separate ways. Perhaps you can be friends someday. But not now. Most exes don't remain tight friends, especially right after a break-up. Some manage a friendship after they've both moved on. Most drift out of each other's lives as they grow up and meet others. Link to comment
crickets99 Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 I just love her so much and can’t believe all this has happened. Do you guys think she will reach out to me? Link to comment
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