I’m doing a little better but I keep dreaming of him and it hurts

[Cqc]

Hi! I have a few post on here already. Here’s a tiny back story. I dated me ex for 7.5 years. Now he is my ex and I’ve done the NC for almost a month! I’m getting a little stronger every day. I’m still hopeful but that’s not the point.

 

I haven’t really cried about the breakup in a while, which was something I was doing constantly. I do have this issue about dreams tho. I’m not exactly happy but I’m not miserable like I was a couple weeks ago but I feel like I’ve been dreaming about my ex a lot.

 

In these dreams I usually know we are broken up but I dream that we got back together. I also dream I’m with his family again. The dreams feel so real that when I wake up I end up missing him more than I’m have been.

 

It hurts cause there’s nothing I can really do about it and I feel like I’ve been making progress and it just brings me down a notch or two. I’m sure this is normal and is just my subconscious thinking about how much I miss him when I push it aside during the day.

 

I’m not sure if there is much I can do about this but if anyone has any suggestions or just some support I would appreciate it.

 

Thank you in advance:)

[DanZee]

I can offer just the standard advice. Get outside in the sun. Exercise. Go on hikes or bike trips in nature. Do things you like to do. Hang out with friends and family. Go to movies, concerts, and plays even if you're by yourself. Get out to where there's lots of people. Don't be afraid to talk to strangers. Listen to happy music. Take a vacation. Take up a hobby. Read. Keep busy. You will slowly heal. Keep doing what you're doing.

[Cqc]

Thank you danzee! I am doing all of that and I am doing a lot better than when it first happened it’s just when I asleep when I’m thinking about him the most and I wake up so upset.

[RayRay63]

Cqc, I am nearly at 4 weeks strict NC. The compulsion to email her is gone (could be something right about the 21 day habit thing?). The intrusive thoughts have diminished. Still think about her at stages everyday, but not as often. I'm actually finding now that my thought process is - very slowly - shifting a little to an acceptance she is gone for good and a more rational assessment of why it would not be a good idea to respond to any contact from her.

 

I have set myself a project for today - I'm going out to lunch with a couple of friends, and the project is to say nothing about her. Or keep it to a two line summary if pressed about it:

 

"She broke it off because she met someone else.

 

Time to walk away and not look back."