becoming more than friends - feel messed around...

[LondonLad83]

Keeping this as short as I can, I recently started going out with this girl I've known 18 months after she asked me out. She lives in another town so seeing her a lot is not that easy.

 

The whole 18 months has been on/off with us. We obviously fancied eachother when we first met but I did find her hard to read. Within a couple of months though we'd done an overnight trip together and I asked he on a date and she said yes. After we made out with each other at a club and ended up cuddling in bed, I asked her out but she said she didn't want to rush things. Things progressed to sex but then she went cold on me for quite a while and I barely saw her.

 

We then decided to be just friends and had several great times together but out of the blue we ended up making out and almost had sex again. I just took it as friends with benefits even though she was displaying the odd sign of liking me a lot more. Eventually she asked me out say that she'd wanted to for ages but had had plans to go work abroad for a year which she wasn't doing anymore.

 

So met up with her again a few weeks later and had a night in cuddling and kissing on the sofa watching films, but saw her last night again and things were weird. She didn't kiss or even hug me hello, then her friends turned up and she didn't introduce me as her boyfriend, then when I went to kiss her goodbye she went to hug me. I asked her about it and she said she's finding it weird transitioning to more than friends and that it was weird for her even when we met up the first time after she asked me out. After talking to her she says she doesn't want to break up and we can give things a try but I really so hurt at the moment - I'd written things off until she asked me out and now I just feel stupid.

 

I've had a history of things like this, a girlfriend who really ended up being little more than a friend and then another girl who said she loved me but started dating another guy a few weeks after we had a date... I just feel used

 

Don't know whether it's worth trying with her or just ending it now. When we've known eachother 18 months and been intimate more than once I don't feel it should be this hard. I just feel I'm not who she's looking for. Also she was single for 4 years so she's not prone to snap decisions about dating people.I am in love with her so at the moment I just feel broken

[SarahFromChi]

You poor dear. You need to move on for your own sake. SOMEbody is NOT better than nobody. You sound like a lovely man that any sane, well-adjusted lady would be thrilled to be with. Be good to yourself. True love will be worth the wait.

[SherrySher]

That is strange. I'm not sure why she would ask you out, only to be so cold. Maybe she feels more vulnerable now? You really need to talk to her and ask her straight out what is going on besides it just being a transitioning thing, let her know that your feelings were hurt, then give it a few weeks.

 

If nothing improves you will have to call it a day but for the time being, bide your time and see how she acts.

[LondonLad83]

That is strange. I'm not sure why she would ask you out, only to be so cold. Maybe she feels more vulnerable now? You really need to talk to her and ask her straight out what is going on besides it just being a transitioning thing, let her know that your feelings were hurt, then give it a few weeks.

 

If nothing improves you will have to call it a day but for the time being, bide your time and see how she acts.

 

Thanks. I asked her about it and she just said she didn't know why it was weird as it hasn't been weird when things have happened before between us. I asked if it was because of alcohol but she said it wasn't that. She did end up saying that it had been blown out of proportion a bit, that she wasn't thinking of breaking up with me but it was just a bit weird and maybe she was making more out of it in her head.

 

So I guess we decided to work on it, but now I'm very nervous, don't know whether I should be more confident with her or actually back off.