Advice please, Is she suffering from low self esteem

[HLD]

Hi, my relationship has been on and off for the last 3 years. During the first year she told me I was insecure. I took this on board and went and spoke with someone regarding this. Things got back on track only to be ended again by her after a silly disagreement. This has happened 4 times now. She can say whatever she pleases, but if I say something she doesn't like then it's catastrophic. She said when its good it's unbelievable, but when its bad it's awful, there appears to be no middle ground. She comes across as a very confident person, has know issue, in my mind as to how she looks, but recently when fulled by alcohol has become quite narcissistic, I know this sounds harsh but it's the only way I can describe her behaviour. She has said to me in the past that she can suffer from anxiety. It would appear she is afraid of conflict. I get the impression, it is do as I say not as I do! When we fall out she breaks contact completely, not willing to discuss. Any advice welcome.

Thank you.

[DanZee]

Well, it's a form of emotional abuse. If she doesn't get what she wants, she pulls a tantrum, calls you all sort of names and insults you until you either cave in or you leave. Afterwards she probably acts all lovey-dovey and at some point you get the tantrum and the insults and the break up again. You will really have an unstable relationship for as along as you're with her. The only way you short-circuit her explosions is to pull back and not engage her. Don't argue not matter what she calls you. Instead ask, why are you acting this way? Don't you have any feelings for me? Don't you care about what you say to me? Do you really want me to leave? Why don't you want to do what I want to do, etc. If you give an example of an argument, I can try to give you some tips. It's difficult to do, but if you can break through to her, you can have a better relationship. But you can't let her get away with this or you will be whipped, if you know what I mean.