What is this noise?

[ahd15]

Sometimes I feel great and other days I get nervous to the point i want to forget this whole thing is happening.

In this case I’m talking to this woman that had a brief stint with a short time back. Very fast paced. It was too fast to be honest. Then she said she wasn’t in the right place and things hit a wall for over a month. Thought about her everyday but nothing I could do. Then I started focusing on myself and in a matter of days she reached out.

We have plans to meet although she said she doesn’t want to date anyone right now which is fine. I’m more nervous than any dates I’ve been on. I almost want to cancel whatever it is to save myself from the disappointment that may come as I know how it felt the first time around. Then again everything I got to know about her I liked a lot.

I’m just trying to wrap my head around why she reached out after only knowing me so briefly and how suddenly it stopped. We weren’t exclusive, and weren’t friends before. We were friendly but we met in a romantic setting so we didn’t get to know each other very well without that being then premise. We only saw each other in person 4 times. We did sleep together but she wants to meet out so it can’t be for that. I wouldn’t even go through with it if was (can’t believe I’m saying that). I should have slowed it down the first time around I know. Maybe she wants to be just friends? Isnt that a line people use? I don’t want to lie to her but that’s a big bomb to drop after a long hiatus I feel like. Don’t want to assume and come off too strong. What would you think in my situation?

[reinventmyself]

You have two choices. You can decline her invitation because you know the outcome isn't going to be what you hoped for.

OR. . you can use this experience as means to strengthen your resolve and learn to handle these types of social interactions with women.

 

Wouldn't you rather be confident with the knowledge that you can show up and enjoy her company for what it is without any reason to

have it rock your world? So much so, you'd rather pass altogether.

 

Passing is ok. Nothing wrong with that.

But using this to your advantage to learn some confidence in this area is something to consider.

[ahd15]

You have two choices. You can decline her invitation because you know the outcome isn't going to be what you hoped for.

OR. . you can use this experience as means to strengthen your resolve and learn to handle these types of social interactions with women.

 

Wouldn't you rather be confident with the knowledge that you can show up and enjoy her company for what it is without any reason to

have it rock your world? So much so, you'd rather pass altogether.

 

Passing is ok. Nothing wrong with that.

But using this to your advantage to learn some confidence in this area is something to consider.

 

I know what you mean although I probably should’ve reworded that last question from “do” to “think”. I’m gonna go for sure unless she cancels and we’ll have a great time no doubt in my mind.

And quite honestly I don’t know that it’s not going to be what I hoped for because what I hope for takes time which is something her and I certainly didn’t waste the first time.

I’m just trying to figure out why. I kind of already know that I’ll never know.

[Careerchoice]

We have plans to meet although she said she doesn’t want to date anyone right now which is fine.

 

Is it fine? Or are you just taking what she's willing to give you? Why let her back into your life so easy when she already bailed on you? What's to stop that from happening again? Too many people settle for flakey behavior. Demand more.

[ahd15]

Thanks for the feedback.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Is it fine? Or are you just taking what she's willing to give you? Why let her back into your life so easy when she already bailed on you? What's to stop that from happening again? Too many people settle for flakey behavior. Demand more.

 

I could not agree with you more! I've dealt with so many flakey dates! I mean, I don't settle for these guys and I pretty much write them off once they flake on me, but my point is, there's too many of them out there!

[ahd15]

Personally I don’t see any flakey behavior or any bailing and demanding something of someone is a bit extreme even if I’m in a committed relationship. If they do what they want it is much more attractive than doing what I want. What I do look for is if what they like doing, I don’t like, and that’s where the compatibility issue comes in. To each his/her own.

No one owes me an explanation. What’s important is that I don’t lose focus on my well being, which believe it or not I have not.

I’m always a little hesitant to post on here because it seems like a lot of people have a black or white mentality which is not me. I do however understand that it’s all subjective and I appreciate the time everyone takes to reply. That being said, it seems like this has gotten off topic so take it away!

[Exotic86]

She doesn't seem serious. She will create a lot of on-again off-again situations for you in future and believe me, that's not for the faint hearted. You need a steady relationship. Maybe you can decline and be honest about the reason.If she wants to save it, she will. She just wants to be friends and that's what usually girls say when they are not really into a guy.

[ahd15]

I don’t know what you mean by seeming serious. Totally agree with the friend thing. We can be friends on Facebook though why plan out time for dinner?