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Sex- the importance in a marriage or long-term relationship


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We all know sex drives can vary differently from one person to the next.

I've heard some couples keep the action going between the sheets into their 70's and more. Some sleep in separate beds and separate rooms.

But I'd like to hear...


1) feedback about the importance of sex in a marriage/long-term relationship.

2) should a couple happily stay together even if they are not sexually compatible?

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I'm going through this now.19 yr.relationship -married 13 of those.Haven't had sex in over a year only 3 times in the past 2yrs.

My husband withholds sex purposefully. Like a child holding their breath to get his way. My husband knows I love sex and "was" uninhibited between the sheets. I've grown bitter and exhausted of the antics and wouldn't have sex with him now even if he begged on all fours.

So your answers you seek...1.) It's extremely important. For me not having sex for so long,I feel estranged from my marriage.My husband seems foreign to me. Intimacy doesn't exist for me.I am starving for affection.

2.)I am not happy in my marriage. In the process of preparing to dissolve it. Maybe in a marriage where both partners have low sex drive it may be possible?! But this is not my case.

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To me, sex is very important in a long term relationship. Even just from a scientific perspective, sex releases all sorts of bonding hormones. Can you bond without it? Sure... but I really do think that it requires a lot of time and conscious effort to maintain a close relationship and emotional bond without sex. Sex is kind of the “quick fix” glue that keeps you glued together.


Then, of course, there’s the other side to sex which is the passion and feeling of being desired and desirable, feeling wanted, etc. And frankly just the physical need. If one partner is left “hungry” all the time, even for the most loyal of people, other people become that much more tempting, you know?


In terms of a couple and mismatched sex drives? My answer might also depend on how long the couple has been together and just how mismatched the drives are. Been together many years and a slight mismatch? Of course they should stay together. New couple with wild differences in sex drive? No, probably not. And then there are all the million scenarios in between...

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