Blossomxo Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Recently I posted about my breakup with my first love well this is also about him. I know sociopath is not a word to throw around and only a special diagnose can verify that but after reading many articles I’m almost sure I was in a 4 year relationship with one. He once told me while I was on the floor crying that I should understand that he doesn’t care about anything or anyone and went as far to say that if his parents died tomorrow he wouldn’t be happy but it wouldn’t be a big deal. On countless ocasions and throughout our time together I could have not ignored more red flags. However he was my first real relationship and I thought I could help and change him with my love. His mother and I spoke a few times and she told me that ever since he was very very young teachers and people would tell her he had a problem with compulsive lying. Lying was a huge problem in our relationship. Memories in my head won’t stop replaying... memories where he would swear to god, on my life, and his parents while looking me straight in the eye while he lied and I already knew the truth. There are infinite examples of the obvious sociopath behavior but you get the picture... I know you can blame me for staying in that emotionally abusive relationship, believe I’ve already done that. However he was so manipulating that he would turn his mistakes on me and made me believe it was my fault for being crazy or not trusting him. Of course not all was bad or I would have not fallen so deeply. He was extremely charming and knew me so well, we had many good moments that I now believe were not real to him. We broke up after thanksgiving and days later he already had a new girl which he is now in a relationship with. He reached out to me a few times saying he wanted to be with me while he was traveling with the new girl. When I confronted him about being with the girl on a trip he said he wasn’t with anyone and he was home. His snap location said he was in Switzerland 3 mins ago... after this I blocked him from all social media. I never considered myself a weak person but I believe this can happen to even the strongest women. However now I’m having an extremely difficult time coping with this apart from it being my first heartbreak. I’ve deleted his number and cut contact with him and have tried to get on with my life but I feel so damaged. I feel it has affected the so much to the point I believe all he would say about me is true.To think that I still wonder if there’s better than this “first love” of mine. Link to comment
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