Very confusing situation

[Brit2remember]

So my boyfriend of 7 years, decided to tell me he's over me and he's moving out 4 days ago. We have an almost 6 year old son, I have been a stay at home mom to. So it's just not that easy. We had a huge fight last week and that's when he said it. We had both been drinking.

So yesterday I went to seek out a drug and alcohol counselor for my drinking habit. In hopes that would be the first step to mending our problems. Then last night after knowing I went to a therapist earlier in the day, he comes home with a bottle of liquor and precedes to drink right in front of me. I found that to be extremely hurtful.

He says he's open to couples counseling so we can communicate better for our son yet continues to do very hurtful things to me one minute, then acts civil and tries to have a conversation like nothing's wrong the next. I'm to the point of not knowing if I should even try anymore. He did admit he's depressed so I dont know if he truly fell out of love with me or if something more serious is going on in his mind.

I have always known I love him more than he loves me. I get extremely anxious when he's mad or not talking to me so the thought of him permanently leaving me has made me so anxious I can't sleep or eat. I'm at a loss.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. You both need to get clean asap if you want to keep your son. Sooner or later a concerned friend, neighbor, family, teacher, etc will report this. Your son is at school so it's time to get a job and dedicate yourself to being a decent responsible mother. Your bf is the least of your problems.

We have an almost 6 year old son, I have been a stay at home mom to. I went to seek out a drug and alcohol counselor for my drinking habit.

[Andrina]

Good for you for seeking help for your alcohol problems. Please continue doing so. If he's willing to go to couples counseling, why not give it a try? You'll probably feel better doing so before throwing in the towel. In the meantime, knowing your relationship is on rocky ground and might end, I would start applying for jobs. You should always be financially independent, so that you never rely on a man, because as you see, sometimes relationships don't work out.

 

When you drink, you can't be fully, mentally present for anyone. Your son deserves at least one parent whose mind is clear and capable of being present for him. Work on being the best mom you can be right now. And sometimes you can change someone else's behavior by changing your own. If you always react the same way to his bad behavior, try reacting a different way. If he was drinking in front of you, why didn't you tell him how hurtful that was and then taken your son out to eat or for ice-cream or somewhere where you didn't have to watch that?

 

If he says hurtful things in the future, you can even remove yourself from his presence by going to another room, and let him know if he doesn't treat you right, he will lose the pleasure of your company.

 

If he doesn't improve with counseling, only stick around long enough to get on your feet financially, and then apply for child support. When it comes to the breaking point, you can tell him it's over unless he gets on antidepressants and goes to counseling for substance abuse. Good luck.