friendship after break up

[bluekey]

I broke up with my ex about a year ago, although we only dated for 5 months, it was a pretty intense relationship. After the breakup, we promised to be friend with each other, however, we rarely talked to each other. Anyways, I just recently started dating someone else and feel like I am ready to move on. I emailed my ex a few days ago asking if she still wants to be friend. Her reply was rather suprising. She said

"I'm glad you've moved on and I'm happy that you have found someone. Thanks for wanting to be friends with me, but I think that it will be too difficult for me to be friends with you. We only knew each other as bf/gf and were never friends first. And now that we've broken up, I can't think of you of anything other than my ex. I'm so happy that you're dating someone nice and hopefully she'll be a better girlfriend to you than I was. "

 

I really wish I could be friend with my ex but I do respect her decision. However I am really confused by what she said, and don't understand why she wouldn't be friend with me. Does she hate me? or she is not over me yet?

 

Thanks for your advices.

[DN]

Maybe the reasons that broke you up are the reasons she doesn't look upon you as friend material. It could also be that she thinks this may be a ploy to get her back.

 

Who broke up with whom?

[bluekey]

she broke up with me...

[DN]

well that may be it.

 

The annoying thing from your point of view is that you could only really know buy asking her - and she doesn't want you to talk to her. Plus, she may not tell you the truth anyway.

 

Best to reserve all your emotional energy for your new girlfriend

[bluekey]

that sucks, lol.... but thanks anyways

[Iceman26]

I think it was a mature response on her part. She was upfront and honest with you, and told you exaclty how she felt about it. She may have felt like you were trying to get even, because you only contacted her after you had someone else.

 

Why would you want to be friends with an ex anyways, now that you have someone new? Your new girlfriend would only be suspicious with you talking/hanging out with an ex, so why poison the new relationship?

[CarrieB123]

It may sux but the fact of the matter is right now she is not ready to be friends, and I agree you should focus on the new and forget about the old, cause I would hate to be the "new" with a guy thinking about the "old" Plus so often ex b/f & g/f friendships dont work, one is usually somewhat more emotionally attached, and ends up hurting.

[bluekey]

I guess I am really confused as to why she wouldn't be friend with me. I mean we dated for 5 month, and know each other well... it just seemed like such a waste of time. I am just not following her reasons.

[Tryingtobestrong]

Sounds to me like she is not over you. Strange thing is though, that she was the one who broke it off. Maybe she regretted it but was too proud to ask you for another chance?

[bluekey]

well... I sorta brought up the idea of taking a break just as a warning, telling her that there are something wrong. But then she felt we should break up too, I tried really hard to get her back, but she was extremely true and was very cold toward me. I was so shocked because the break up happened so suddenly. I don't know if she is over me, but I guess I will focus on my current gf now