unable to give an orgasm

[ukgeez2k5]

ok basically from the beginning...

 

been with my girlfriend for months now... we lost our virginity to eachother... and we enjoy sexual play alot.

 

i love rubbing her clit and putting my fingers inside her.. recently we discovered the "g spot" i believe.. makes her unable to move or breath properly if i proper push hard against regular motions... but she cannot orgasm that way it seems... at least not before my hand nearly falls off of exhaustion.. which can be at least upto 10 mins and still no orgasm.

 

i can rub her for half hour and nothing.

 

ive licked her orally for a good 45 mins before trying all different things.. no orgasm.. only noticed that in one motion her legs twitch a bit but she says its annoying and asks if i wont do it please coz it just feels "weird" and she doesnt know if its "good" or "bad".

 

i know i prolly seem im in a bad mood writing this. just recently i feel so guilty coz she always gets me off and i never return the favour coz no matter what i do i cant do it.

 

when we start having sex normally its with no condom... i know its risky and all but forget all that... anyway when i go fast and hard she says if i kept doing that for 5 minutes she could probably orgasm.. but i cant physically do that.. i have to stop once every now and then for breath and so i do not end it all and become labelled a 1 minute man... so i pause for 1 or 2 seconds maybe not even that and she says any build up has gone straight away.

 

she can give herself orgasms and she has showed me how to do it and she has simulated it by rubbing off on my leg before but not to the point of orgasm ive never seen her orgasm she wont show me that.

 

its really making me feel like a silly lil boy.. no good at anything sexual... sex is crap with me... i cant lick her properly... i cant rub her properly or play with her properly.. best thing i can do that seems to affect her directly physically is the g spot thingy... like a come here sign with 1 or 2 fingers inside the vagina... if i do it really hard and fast she struggles to breath but it makes her extremely wet and she does want more.

 

i love giving her pleasure and we dont have bad sex or anything, i just really wish i was good enough to give her an orgasm.

 

we laugh and joke about things and its not an awkward or horrible sexual relationship.. we love eachother and trust eachother and all... i just wondered if anyone here has any input towards this lil problem i seem to be having.. aka not being good enough to give her any pleasure.

 

all this and yet she still says she very much enjoys everything we do.. especially being licked... but it doesnt give her an orgasm.

 

wish it did.

 

thanks for any advice you give me.

help is greatly appreciated.

[SPark]

You are not doing anything wrong. Orgasm is not something you give. It sounds like she might be tensing up and not allowing herself to relax enough to have one with you. Repeat: You are not doing anything wrong. Don`t get mad at yourself. Don`t get mad at her. She can`t help it. These things come with the territory, and with time and caring can and will be overcome.

 

Scroll down in the Orgasm forum and find the post I made with the Lowen bioenergetics exercises. 8 minutes a day, no sweat, and you will be very impressed with the results if you give them an honest try. These would work for both of you, and you can do them together if that`s better...you could teach her. Anyway, I would recommend them for her. I bet she`ll soon feel better about her body and its possibilities, the energy will start flowing, and the problem will magically disappear.

[Belinda]

DOnt take it personally. Just because she wont come, doesnt mean your any less of a man or something stupid like that. Its kind of shallow to think like that.

 

Really; I dont think Ive ever met a girl that has orgasmed by oral sex and nothing else. Sometimes it will just get boring. Its more a turn on than a great technique to come.

There is a spot however, near the clit, and if you rub it too much the sensitivity is FAR to intense, and it will make you twitch and stuff. THat said, its not enjoyable really. Its awkward and makes your muscels lose a bit of control. It is TOO intense to keep your finger there for too long so youshould really alternate and try different spots, even if you think thats a winner.

Another important thing is, when youre having sex, suggest to her that she rubs her clit while you are going at it. Again, its a bit hard to climax if you have just penetration and no clit, or just clit and no penetration.

Generally speaking I think its always best to leave working the clit to the girl. Have a joined effort. Guys are good at the whole penetrating thing, girls at working the clitoris.

 

Thats my suggestion.

And now I sound like a dirty skank o_o;;;;; sorry

[ukgeez2k5]

i dont get mad at her and i have mentioned that im sorry.. i always apologise after we have sex.. and i always say sorry im no good at it.

 

normally... to try and give ya the picture... we start by kissing... and then i slowly work my hand down and start to touch her intimately and rub and caress her sensitive areas... ive tried gently rubbing her clib in circular motions... coz believe me i looked this up so many times lol... just seems to do nout.. she only twitches when i flick my tongue against the clit area for a long time over and over quite quickly but gently.

 

she has mentioned that me licking her can get boring coz i do really love to give her pleasure i like it as much if not more than receiving pleasure.. i really REALLY like it.

 

she said the way she masturbates is to put lots of pressure on just where the clit is... and less but still pressure right at the top... then sort of up/down/left/right circles but pressing really hardly downwards when you get to the bottom of the clit... i cant do it tho... ive really tried so many times.

 

just think that i must be frustrating her so much and really winding her up by not doing a good enough pleasure giving experience or whatever you wanna call it.. makes me angry with myself... especially not her.. i dont tell her how angry i am with myself coz the last thing i want is for her to say fine dont bother then if its just gonna wind you up and feel awkward about it.. i love how open our sexual experiences can be and are the majority of the time.

 

when we FIRST started sexual experimentation stuff she was very very nervous about talking to me.. but she does now... not entirely and i can tell sometimes she holds alot back... but she is getting much better at talking about it.

 

i was inexperienced before i met her and i have never ever given a girl an orgasm.. but i really love her and i am so interested in giving her orgasms to make her experience as good if not better than mine coz itd make mine extremely better too.

 

i dont wanna sound selfish.. coz honestly i know its not about me... its about her and i understand how fragile and sensitive she is and stuff.. i just really really try to make her feel good but i cant make her feel as good as i should be able to.

[Sn0man]

Im going to have to agree with Belinda on this one. Leave the clit rubbing to the woman (on the most part). Maybe you need to try some different sexual positions. One that works well for me and my g/f is getting her to put her legs semi-together and up while she's on her back, then ya get in behind her and that leaves her lots of room to do what she needs to do with her hands ya know hahaha

 

Just a thought, but something you might wanna try...seems to work wonders for us!

[ukgeez2k5]

she wouldnt ever do that tho... i just wish i could do it for her. all my friends and their girlfriends have no problem with orgasms.. just me.. feel so pathetic sometimes.

[Sn0man]

Why wouldn't she do that? Is she a little shy about her sexuality or something? Why not try asking her if she'd be into it....she'd probably love it and wouldn't be able to get enough!! I have to fight my g/f off half the time cuz she loves it so much!!

[ukgeez2k5]

she wouldnt masturbate infront of me... or play with herself.... best she has done is guide my hand... and it still doesnt work but i can just tell she wouldnt coz she likely believes its my job to give her pleasure.. not in a selfish or bad way.. but if ya get what i mean... she prolly wont wanna rub herself off shes the type that thinks kind of like self pleasure is a bit dodgey she prefers it if i did it type thing.

[Belinda]

Just be patient with her.. ask her if she could do it now and then and after a while shell be comfortable enough with you to do that.

She just sounds a little nervous and shy, thats normal, just give it time

[JackH]

here's what i've been told by various girls i know: yes physical stimulation is what's going to get it done; but, it's just as important to have the mental aspect too. What I mean by the "mental aspect" is that, bascially, she's got to be into it. she's got to want it. the mind is a very powerful thing, and the result that you're looking for is much more easily achieved when she's aching for it just as much as you seem to be for her. I don't know if she's worrying too much about it, or what a potential mind problem may be, but...that's what i've been told.

[Sn0man]

I absolutely concur with JackH

[BLue1823]

It's all mental. I had the same problem with my exboyfriend sometimes. It's just really hard for me to loosen up. The poor thing tried and tried for hours and still I would get nothing. Don't get me wrong we had sex ever week for the 10 months that we were together, and I only orgasmed three times. I remember the second time because I told myself "who cares, don't fight it." My mind was actually thinking how I would react; what would come out of my mouth when it happened. I know that when I masturbate and reach orgasm I start to curse and my body shakes. I think I was afraid to exhibit that type of behavior in front of my him. Don't get me wrong my ex gave me good clit rubs better than I ever gave myself, and I would hold back from coming. It definitely is the mind playing tricks.

[lovelynns]

I've been posting these directions everywhere but it works.

 

My boyfriend couldn't get me to O with force until this. Try it out.

 

Orgasm for her... These are directions for the lady.

 

one hand maybe two and a tongue is all you'll need ... his of course. You just relax. say that again...RELAX. ok now before you get too excited you need a man who loves going down on you. If that is a no go forget this type of orgasm it'is not for you.

 

For the ladies still reading..

 

1st. lay down on the bed and relax.

2nd. spread your legs and have your man get in position to lick you.

3rd. have your man take his best hand and insert two fingers into you. This needs to be done with some force. use the technique known as "the wave" (a back and forth motion always rubbing upward) to hit the G spot. DO NOT LET HIM STOP THAT MOTION.

4th. The man continues to do this and begins licking your clit. If he needs help in knowing what to do just tell him to let his tongue go wild.

5th. This continues until oragsm. He may need to switch hands several times BUT DONT LET HIM STOP LICKING.

 

This is a mind blowing, body shivering experience.

 

Just remember relax and enjoy.

 

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Hope this works