Boyfriend

[Stardoll11]

Hi

I hooked up with my current boyfriend roughly around one year ago, we weren't serious and were mainly hooking up for one thing. I pretty quickly developed feelings and couldn't help but feel a connection, but the feelings weren't returned and his treatment of me from the start was not nice and not how I would be expected to be treated, even some of the comments he made to me were hurtful and Rude also sleeping together on nights out and not contacting me after. I felt hurt and used as I seen him with numerous women inbetween times that we still hooked up. I know we weren't together but I couldn't help but feel used and disrespected. Seeing him in action with other women turned me off him and I distanced myself as much as I could trying not to let his actions effect me and soon they didn't and I was happy enough to see him do his own thing and I was happy by myself. Although I distanced myself and he meant noting to me, the feelings I had never fully went away. But all of a sudden he's attitude towards me changed, as if someone turned a switch on in him and I knew by his actions that he wanted me. At first I thought it was too good to be true but it wasn't. His effort was consistent and he showed me he loved me and I had no doubt He did. This was like a different person, I couldn't believe the change. I was always careful because I knew how much he had hurt me in the past. After a while we got into a relationship in which were still in and he really does make me so happy and treats me like a queen, I couldn't ask for somebody better. But sometimes I can't help but feel bitter towards him for the way he treated me before. I can't forget the past even though I try put it to the side but unfortunately he hurt me too much for me to ever fully forget. I know of several women that he had sex even some I seen him with in clubs etc. This for me is hard to accept. I forgive him but I can't let go. I want to be able get over this but am finding it hard. When I ask him why he treated me like that before he uses the excuse that he was smoking weed every day and that this made him selfish and he didn't care about anyone else. He has since given up smoking weed and is like a new person. Is this too good to be true?? HELP

[EarthGhost]

Hard to say. In merely speculating, my first guess is that he got dumped by the one he chose over you. Or perhaps the two who eventually crossed paths, talked and compared notes and both decided he was an ass. Womanizers do not typically stop chasing other women and settle with one unless she was THE one and if that were you, he would have stayed by you from go.

I don't like to accuse before having solid evidence of wrong doing though either. Give him the benefit of doubt but be keen in keeping an eye out. If he got sent to the curb, then you could likely be just keeping him warm until he finds another. Just take note of everything around you and don't be vulnerable should he decide to suddenly bail.

Im guessing you are fairly young because once you go through it enough , its easy to see in advance as loyalty can be generally gauged in the things people take interest in.

Does his demeanor change once around other people? Like sweet then once his friends are around, suddenly change in how he talks and acts so as to be cool or impress them? Is he loyal to himself in maintaining his beliefs and principles without denying or bending them in accordance to who is present? Loyal to his dog should he have one?

[Stardoll11]

Hi, thanks for you reply. This is his first relationship the other women that I mentioned he was also not serious with them and from what I hear I guess they were pretty much treated the same as I was at the start. His demeanour doesn't change around his friends at all, he shows me just as much love and affection and he's happy to do it. I see nothing but love and loyalty and I know he'd never hurt me again. Do you think the bad past rules out any hope of a good future? I can't help but feel my pride has been hurt but yet I love this man

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you may always be looking over your shoulder for the other shoe to drop. He didn't 'hurt you', you agreed to booty call.

I see nothing but love and loyalty and I know he'd never hurt me again. Do you think the bad past rules out any hope of a good future?