I'll make this quick, need advice.

[Kriskris]

I met a very nice man through one of my friends at the end of vacation. We went on a couple dates and texted daily and we seemed to Really mesh. I went on a 2 week vacation and ended up having a fling while away. Now that I am going back home I can't help but feel guilty if o were to continue getting to know this man. We have not been physical or anything yet and went on 2 dates and spent a little bit of new years together. When I went away he called to let me know that he would talk to me when I got home, and I did not hear from him while away, which was expected. He has already texted me and I don't know what to do. I Really do see a potential to have a wonderful friendship/relationship with him but I do not want him to think I would be like this if we were to escalate. I can honestly say I am not the promiscuous type and I am very loyal. Advice please :)

[ardecormiami]

I met a very nice man through one of my friends at the end of vacation. We went on a couple dates and texted daily and we seemed to Really mesh. I went on a 2 week vacation and ended up having a fling while away. Now that I am going back home I can't help but feel guilty if o were to continue getting to know this man. We have not been physical or anything yet and went on 2 dates and spent a little bit of new years together. When I went away he called to let me know that he would talk to me when I got home, and I did not hear from him while away, which was expected. He has already texted me and I don't know what to do. I Really do see a potential to have a wonderful friendship/relationship with him but I do not want him to think I would be like this if we were to escalate. I can honestly say I am not the promiscuous type and I am very loyal. Advice please :)

 

Hi, I am a psychologist and deal with a lot of couples and relationships issues.

 

I am not clear, you met a guy A and then on a trip met someone else and feel guilty?

[Kriskris]

Correct. But the guy I met on a trip was purely a fling with intimacy. I am interested in the guy from home that I met before my trip.

[ardecormiami]

Hi, I am a psychologist and deal with a lot of couples and relationships issues.

 

I am not clear, you met a guy A and then on a trip met someone else and feel guilty?

 

In any case my advise about guilt in the early stage of potential relationships: don’t let it eat you, the beginnings are most often are messy, people finishing up the lingering on and offs or need to have that final talk with an ex, or meet someone and then right after meet another person they like more, so they have to finish something that just started.... there are a million ways how the beginning of beautiful relationship can seem not ideal. It is life. You should not not get the guy you like a try because of what happened. In the end,we don’t have to disclose everything that was going on when you just met and chances are he may also have something that is not going to be announced. Just start where you are today.

Shame and guilt are one of the most common “road blocks” in our lives in every aspect of life. We should fight to not let them steer us away from what life has to offer.

[ardecormiami]

Hi, I am a psychologist and deal with a lot of couples and relationships issues.

 

I am not clear, you met a guy A and then on a trip met someone else and feel guilty?

 

Hi, I am a psychologist and deal with a lot of couples and relationships issues.

 

I am not clear, you met a guy A and then on a trip met someone else and feel guilty?

 

In any case my advise about guilt in the early stage of potential relationships: don’t let it eat you, the beginnings are most often are messy, people finishing up the lingering on and offs or need to have that final talk with an ex, or meet someone and then right after meet another person they like more, so they have to finish something that just started.... there are a million ways how the beginning of beautiful relationship can seem not ideal. It is life. You should not not get the guy you like a try because of what happened. In the end,we don’t have to disclose everything that was going on when you just met and chances are he may also have something that is not going to be announced. Just start where you are today.

Shame and guilt are one of the most common “road blocks” in our lives in every aspect of life. We should fight to not let them steer us away from what life has to offer.

[Kriskris]

Part of me knows I should not feel guilty. It is the early stages and I'm hoping when I get home and see him I will feel ok.

[Clio]

No need to disclose. You were not together at that point. Disclosing would probably taint the beginning of whatever you are trying to build. What you did would be considered promiscuous by some, depending on their set of personal values. He wouldn't have any right to blame you but if the tables were reversed I can't imagine that you would be thrilled to learn such details either. Imo, you need to keep what you did while on vacation private. Your personal life prior to becoming exclusive is your own.

[catfeeder]

No need to disclose. You were not together at that point. Disclosing would probably taint the beginning of whatever you are trying to build. What you did would be considered promiscuous by some, depending on their set of personal values. He wouldn't have any right to blame you but if the tables were reversed I can't imagine that you would be thrilled to learn such details either. Imo, you need to keep what you did while on vacation private. Your personal life prior to becoming exclusive is your own.

 

I agree, and I wouldn't disclose something that isn't the business of a new date. I'd get a proper STD check before getting sexual, and that's all I'd need to conduct my private life responsibly and as I see fit.

 

Don't bring baggage into new relationships. If you're not prepared to start fresh, then you're not yet ready to start a new relationship. That's not 'bad,' it just means you have your own private work to do first before you'll be ready.

 

Head high.