I don’t want to let him go but he’s not mine

[shephh22]

I have talked to a male for over a year and a half I have developed strong feelings for this man the only thing is he has a girlfriend. When we started talking I had no idea and by the time I found out it was too late I had already caught feelings and became attached he doesn’t treat me like a “ side chick” he takes me out we hang out I’ve met his friends but he still has a gf and they’ve been together for years but I can’t manage to leave him alone and I don’t know what to do .

[Seraphim]

You know what to do.

[Capricorn3]

You know what to do.

 

^ This. It all comes down to respect. Respecting other peoples relationships and above all, self-respect. He doesn't sound like much of a prize if he "takes you out" when he has a girlfriend. Basically, messing behind her back. Total disrespect for his girlfriend.

 

Find someone unattached.

[Andrina]

Nothing is ever "too late." How would you like it if you had a bf and some girl who had a crush on him regularly hung out with him? There's a reason he didn't mention her for a while. There's a reason he doesn't introduce her to you and vice versa (at least I'm assuming that hasn't happened.) He likes the fact you have a crush on him because it boosts his ego, and that's it. He is crossing relationship boundaries with his gf by hanging out with you. If she dumped him and he got with you, he'd continue his pattern of finding some other naive girl to follow him around like a puppy dog, and he could care less how in pain you are over unrequited lust. Or is he flat out cheating with you?

 

If you had a healthy self esteem, you wouldn't allow this unethical behavior on both your parts to be happening. Have some dignity, self-love, and common sense. He's not a potential faithful partner. Learn from your mistakes, go no contact for closure, and focus on your goal, which I'm assuming is getting a bf. Just make sure he's emotionally and physically free to be in a relationship with you, and that you've worked on your self esteem enough that you won't accept less. Good luck.

[shephh22]

Thank you