trying to move on...when I work with my ex bf

[IndyWineChica]

I am having such a difficult time ... my head tells me to move on and my heart has me tied in knots.

 

I started a new job a year ago. Six months into it, a flirty man at work told everyone he was seperated and we started a special friendship. We both came in the office early and would chat, he would leave notes on my desk, see me parking my car and have coffee waiting at my desk and it evolved to time away from the office where we shared ALOT. We never slept together, however, we were emotionally very close.

 

One day, he said things were coming to a head with his wife and the next day he sent me a email -- he was reconciling with her. While sad, I understood the risks. He worked from home for a month and we never spoke.

 

Now, things have evolved. First, he doesn't look happy and while we don't talk outside of work transactions -- I still see the way he looks at me. Second, I've heard him talking that he doesn't think things are going to last with his wife. However, the third thing is that I've learned he's not been faithful to her in the past (and people at work who don't know that we were 'special friends' have shared that they don't think he's a "good" guy based on these past discretions).

 

Logic says .. stay away! Heart says--he connected with me and made me feel so cherished when we were together. In my 40s, that doesn't happen often!

 

He works 20 ft away from my desk, I have a great job that I don't want to leave and I'm emotionally stuck....can't get myself over him, trying not to wait/hope things don't work out with his wife (how wrong is it of me to have that thought?) and I keep telling myself -- go out and move on. Been out on some dates and it makes me feel lonelier -- I fell for him who I believe is very charming and I now believe is a player. I can't seem to get him out of my head...and seeing him every day isn't helping!

 

Any words of advice?

[DaisyMayPorter]

I feel really bad for you. I don’t understand how men/some people can have room two different people in their life; while other people only have one room for one. I know it’s really difficult, but I think that you should just ignore him completely and let him lead his life and then you can lead your life. Hopefully you don’t have to work together too much on work projects. This too, will pass.