Advice Needed: Decided to Walk Away, but...

[WaywardKiwi]

Hey Everyone,

 

I'm want to keep this short, so here are some bullet points:

 

• Met girl (D) four months ago;
  
• We are both living abroad and will be for sometime;
  
• there is a 10 year age gap (although I am a fairly immature 34);
  
• We became fast friends (primarily by my efforts);
  
• 3 weeks into knowing her I told her I have a crush on her, she rejected me ("just out of a relationship/not ready for relationship");
  
• I agreed to stay friends and genuinely intended to forget my crush;
  
• We have spent a lot of time together (including trips together) and have messaged everyday;
  

 

Essentially, my crush has developed into fully-fledged feelings and I have decided that I need to be upfront and walk away. This is extrememly uncharateristic for me, but I have reflected on my past and decided I need to take a different path. Although I genuinely enjoy our time together and our conversations, as I believe she does, it is starting to effect me (I think about her an unhealthy amount, I make plans specifically with her in mind, etc.).

 

We have plans over the following 2 weeks. Basically hanging out around Christmas and, more relevantly, to travel to another city. On this trip we will travel seperately, and only spend 2 days together (it is more that we are both going to the same city at the same time). I have arranged to stay with a friend in this city, and she stay for 2 nights. She also has friends in this city, so she could probably make other arrangements.

 

My dilemma is - should I bite the bullet and do it now? Or should I wait until after those 2 days? I genuinely like her and don't want to screw her over. Also, if I do it now, should I arrange to do it in person or over message (she actually lives around 2 hours away, but I will be in her area early next week and could meet)?

 

Thanks for any help you can offer,

 

T

[1a1a]

Do it now. And I commend you for knowing you want more and not settling for less. I want to be like you.

[WaywardKiwi]

Thanks 1a1a, I appreciate the support! This is actually a big step for me, making an effort to recongise and correct past behaviours. Too many times down this road.....

[WaywardKiwi]

Update:

 

So it was 1-0 for doing it now, so I did it (via phone call - seemed a happy medium). Hurt like hell, but she was cool (cos she is cool, why else would I like her). Feels kinda good and bad, but surprising the world didn't end. It's all forward from here.