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Advice Needed: Decided to Walk Away, but...


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Hey Everyone,


I'm want to keep this short, so here are some bullet points:


  • Met girl (D) four months ago;
  • We are both living abroad and will be for sometime;
  • there is a 10 year age gap (although I am a fairly immature 34);
  • We became fast friends (primarily by my efforts);
  • 3 weeks into knowing her I told her I have a crush on her, she rejected me ("just out of a relationship/not ready for relationship");
  • I agreed to stay friends and genuinely intended to forget my crush;
  • We have spent a lot of time together (including trips together) and have messaged everyday;


Essentially, my crush has developed into fully-fledged feelings and I have decided that I need to be upfront and walk away. This is extrememly uncharateristic for me, but I have reflected on my past and decided I need to take a different path. Although I genuinely enjoy our time together and our conversations, as I believe she does, it is starting to effect me (I think about her an unhealthy amount, I make plans specifically with her in mind, etc.).


We have plans over the following 2 weeks. Basically hanging out around Christmas and, more relevantly, to travel to another city. On this trip we will travel seperately, and only spend 2 days together (it is more that we are both going to the same city at the same time). I have arranged to stay with a friend in this city, and she stay for 2 nights. She also has friends in this city, so she could probably make other arrangements.


My dilemma is - should I bite the bullet and do it now? Or should I wait until after those 2 days? I genuinely like her and don't want to screw her over. Also, if I do it now, should I arrange to do it in person or over message (she actually lives around 2 hours away, but I will be in her area early next week and could meet)?


Thanks for any help you can offer,



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