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So, I work with a girl, She's been there a little over a year now. We never really associated much until recently. I added her on Snapchat and we talked for about 2 months on and off without any incident. Now she had/has a boyfriend. He did something to her and she broke up with him, she does not want to be with him but she got back together with him because he was threatening self harm if she didn't. He made her delete me and a couple other of her guy friends off Snapchat. She assured me that she would re add me once things calmed down and seemed rather upset about it. Our conversations were pretty lively as well. We have alot in common, before the incident she did mention that we should hang out. Another guy I wirj with was also talking to her for a while but he lashed out at her when she deleted him as I did not. I do nice things for her when I can. I gave her a wood carving of her dog that died, that I made her. Then I start her car and clean snow off of it for her. Its very hard to tell if she has any interest in me. We have alot in common though and we see eye to eye with almost everything. I want to ask her on a date but im kind of afraid to being she technically has a controlling boyfriend, even if she doesn't like him at all. Im really trying to get with this girl and alot of people think i should as well. Does it sound like she's interested? If not, How do i diffuse this situation and win her over? I need some good advice.

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Well, you've hit the nail on the head. Her boyfriend is emotionally abusing her to control her. The only way you can get her away from him is to teach her how to stand up to the boyfriend. For example, when the boyfriend threatened to kill himself, she should have told him that she would get her phone and call for a medical emergency for him. 72 hours in a psych ward might straighten him out. That takes away his power.


You can find more info by Googling how to deal with emotional abuse. Here's a good starter site:




Ultimately, if she takes away her boyfriend's power over her, he probably wouldn't want anything to do with her and then she would be free of him. Even if you don't wind up with her, you'll at least be doing her a good deed.

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