Why is it so bad?

[Mrs34836]

Im so confused about my marriage. it's a roller coaster of super high times and lowest lows. We haven't had the best communication lately. The icing on the cake today was his mom called asking for my account password to buy us passes for Christmas. He granted her access to our theme park account without even asking me (setup different password for her with her name and #1) wow really?! I asked him to please ask me first in the future. He said he didn't think it was a big deal. This is escalated into me telling him how frustrated I was with his family never liking me and always manipulating him like a puppet. Words got exchanged to the point that I asked him why he would want to betray his wonderful wife and daughter. He replied that I'm not wonderful. He is normally kind to me but recently the more he talks to his mom the more disrespectful he has become. He says I'm controlling and the reason why our business is failing. Because I don't work enough. It's a mess. I will probably get people tellling me to leave him or saying it's my fault. But what I want to know is how do you gain respect for yourself. I try to workout, dress well, do my share of house work. And how do I show him respect without letting him walk all over me?

[Marshmellow12]

I would put my foot down and let him know that he can't disrespect you. Don't allow it at all whatsoever. Make him think that you are going to leave him. Do things without him. Go out with friends. Ignore him if you have to.

[Lester]

While taking care of yourself and looking your best is always a good, it won't have long lasting effect on deep insecurities.

You do that by loving who you are, letting it show and growing.

 

Your marriage is out of balance. Left unchecked it will lead to neglect and most likely, in time, divorce.

 

You have to learn what marriage is supposed to be, and then teach him.

 

-----

Did you have a respectable discovery period? (Dating)

Were you both free to marry?

Was it a trapped union?

Do you come from compatible backgrounds?

[DanZee]

Well, his mom is trying to break you guys up. What you have to do is not get into an argument about what he says to you, but instead go to the heart of the matter and ask, this is your mom speaking, isn't it? Tell him straight out his mom is trying to break you up, and ask him is that what he wants? Maybe ask him if he would like to take care of his daughter for a couple of days to see how much work you do. Don't act like a victim and respond to what he's saying. Take charge and go straight to the problem. Tell him his mother is trying to control him. She misses him and this is how she's trying to get his attention. Tell him you're his wife. Mom still has a place in his heart. You're not trying to take him away from her or replace her. But he can't let his mother manipulate him like this. Tell him you still love him, but that he can't let his mom break you up.