I don’t understand my ex.

[AlexSays]

To make the back story short: me and my ex broke up around 2 1/2 months ago. He broke up with me because I broke his trust. We had mad love for each other and he broke up with me during an angry outburst for having done what I did (I have the full story in previous threads).

 

We attempted to be friends after 2 weeks of NC and 1 month of being broken up and basically got into a fwb small phase for a few weeks where we went on “dates” and ended up making out and everything. (No sex though)

 

He became cold and distant and was playing the whole hot/cold game with me. Finally we decided to sever ties after a drunken fight over him kissing his ex and what that entailed about the relationship (him and his ex became friends again after what I had done).

 

 

I checked my ex’s social media and he had posted something motioning that he has a bae and hinting that he wants another woman basically.

 

I’ve had to put up with him posting pictures of them hanging out and basically him telling me he slept with another girl a few times, and calling other girls babe. I never did anything petty back because I figured he wanted to hurt me on purpose or show me he’s been doing good. Well yesterday we saw each other again for the last time to exchange our things, and we both decided to give up. He gave me a letter saying it’s the last time we talk and see each other and he’s gonna be acting cold towards me. I’m finally in the state of moving on and letting go. I met a guy a while ago I just started talking to again around a month ago. We’ve hung out a few times and my ex knows there’s potential there. So today I post a picture with the guy, just a hugging pic, and caption it “just wanna thank this man for everything he’s been doing for me lately” because he’s been greatly helping out me back together after the break up. He’s attentive, more mature, has more of his life together, etc.

 

He deleted me right away, off of Snapchat and instagram. Then posted saying he won’t be petty back and just move on.

 

I myself have made it my hw to stop checking up on what he’s doing. It’s just hard. I do still love him ( and against my better judgement, I want to believe he means it when he said last night that he still loved me).

 

So why can’t he handle being done to him what he’s been doing to me ONCE when he has been on and off posting with his ex and even kissing her/getting into that kind of relationship with her.

[ThatwasThen]

I REALLY wish you would stop obsessing over this guy, block and delete him from seeing his stuff and you seeing his and get on with your life without him in it. It does not matter why he does anything, thinks the way he does or reacts the way he does anymore. You are no longer in his life and he clearly does not want you in his anymore or he wouldn't give you a letter telling you so.

 

Stop torturing yourself, luv and really accept that this is over. Convince yourself of that and then you'll easily be able to block and delete him from everything. That is taking back your personal power from him and giving you the strength to accept and more quickly get to the stage of indifference to him. (which you should be at if you want to start something new with the guy you're hugging and posting about... it's only fair to him that you're ex is out of your head and heart)

[AlexSays]

Quite honestly, he’s my first love: I know most of them firsts don’t work out. I’ve never in my life felt this heart broken before. I know I’m late in the game, but we really had been through hell and back together, and always made it work. Just how do I resist checking up on him in silence? I’m doing literally everything. I’m out there. I’m improving. I’m picking up hobbies and distracting myself but even amongst distraction, friends, hobbies - I still can’t stop him from wandering into my mind. I don’t reach out. I don’t post about how I feel. It’s all just bottled up and I let it out alone. I’ve never been scared of being alone and I’ve always liked being single and the freedom it gave me. I’m glad to be single now. The problem is the fact that it’s him I miss. I’m trying to kick myself back in top gear by reminding myself that this is for both our bests and he left the moment his ex came back. That maybe this wasn’t as real for him as for me. But man does that hurt.

[Dominique]

He's selfish. That's why he has double standards.

 

Move on. Stop worrying about him. You need more and he is less.

[AlexSays]

Also I’ve had all my first times with this guy except penetration. I’ve gotten farther with him than anyone. I can’t even imagine being intimate with another guy.

 

This new guy already asked me to be his girlfriend and I said no and he still persist and tries. Even after saying no... he’s been consistent. Texts me even if I don’t reply every morning and every night. He even went as far as to buy me cake and stuff and take it to my job after I told him I was having a bad birthday.

 

I want to give him a genuine shot... but right now I just want to stop loving my ex more than anything.

[ThatwasThen]

When you resign to forgive Yourself... you will finally begin to get to the stage of indifference to him. First you have to stop creeping his social media. When you're all over the internet trying to remain in his life in a cyber-stalking sorta way, all you're doing is keeping yourself stagnated in your pain.