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  1. anyway i feel better now. just needed to vent it somewhere... i'm going to keep it pushing and strive towards my goal and let it be. not worth the time, effort, and now that its out, attention. ty
  2. I broke up with my bf of 3 years 4 months ago. After we started living together I realized we weren't going to work long term at the pace we were going. I really wanted to start focusing on my career, and the past few month's that's all I have done. I feel like I'm in the right track, but somehow it feels like there's a part of me missing. I know he's seeing other women. We tried staying friends after the BU. Things were fine and we kept it platonic. I was doing well and accepting that it was over. Then two weeks ago we got drunk and slept together. The next week I spoke to him and he admitted he reached out to an old friend of mine who I dont speak to as much anymore and tried to sleep with her, was flirting with her (might still be). Now I know she wasn't the only one, he's been honest about how he's speaking to a lot of women. He said he couldn't go through another heart break and that he was just going to basically sleep around and live the hook up life. He's been in hotels with a girl he had told me not to worry about when we were together, but even that didn't hurt as much as what he tried to do with my old friend. After she found out I knew the real reason she got kicked off from her position at work she added both my exes and started flirting online. The reason she got kicked off work was because she was showing videos of her playing with herself to a married man and got mad at him that he showed it to his coworkers, she's telling everyone he tried to rape her... This woman deadass told me when they slept together how good it was and how she was planning to screw him again. they flirted daily and screwed multiple times. She got mad at him for showing the video to his coworkers and tried to get him fired for fake rape allegations... The married man had all the receipts for human resources and she got kicked. She's been telling everyone else this man tried to rape her to make herself look like a victim. LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES. this is not the first time she has messed with taken men then tried turning it on just them. They are to blame here but sis some of these are your friends men? like friends you guys hang out with together in person??? like umm? Anyway I'm actually venting this out cause this b*tch has been fake most of her time there. She would always get herself in these flirty situations with taken men and then turn around and make herself look like they were the only ones into it when she flirted back and put herself in suggestive situations with her own friend's boyfriends... now the men here that did that suck. But now that she's trying to go there to piss me off I'm letting it allll go. I'm definitely petty and I'm really about to explode and spread it allll out including the friend's who have no idea about their bfs and her. I'm so tired of always being the bigger person and not do anything, not say anything, just take the high road. NO. I want to screw my exes friends and screw her ex then tell the whole world the truth along with that mans receipts. when I tell him shes still saying it was rape I know he will help me specially after she tried to get him fired for it. I know she's still saying that cause my ex showed me all the messages. She's told him he tried to rape her. recently. maaan i want to light this whole thing on FIREEEE. But I've been ignoring their existence because indifference is the one thing that kills her. thats actually why we stopped speaking as much. at this point I just need to vent cause I'm not giving her the satisfaction in person. I'm still not sure what Im going to do but I know when I see red I see it in all its vibrancy and the color starting to pop off. I know I will feel better if I dont do anything though but somehow I still want to do all the above mentioned and see where it goes. want to be selfish want to show her i'm not the one. the more i type the more i realize my ego just bruised. And my ex... That was what made me initiate no contact. What made me cut him completely out. Now he's mad that I did that and trying to turn it around, trying to say I'm partly to blame for breaking up. Like no sir I didn't put a gun to your head. this is how you deal with your pain fine but dont be turning it on me like it's my fault. this the type of man you are then i want nothing to do with it. returned all his stuff and blocked him everywhere. That was what made it truly hit that hey, this isn't the man for me. He's not at all the man for me. I just want to move on now. Some things were left unsaid... And the questions pop in my head randomly through the day. It's starting to get distracting. I don't even know what I'm asking anymore. should i just say screw it all and screw her ex, his friends, and spill the beans? do i choose chaos? my ego wants chaos.
  3. Hey all, it’s been over one year and a half since I posted here. That’s crazy to me. Perhaps this doesn’t matter to anyone but I did want to post an update to those of you that helped me so much get over my traumatizing break up and then some turmoils of a new relationship that happened after it. Regarding the ex, we have seen each other in events & some parties & been cordial. Time has healed all. And to whoever it may surprise, my partner and I are still together, just celebrated our 2nd year anniversary and signed a lease to our apartment. I cannot thank everyone enough for all the advice I got here as it really put to perspective how strong of a woman I am. It also pushed me to become a better partner. It’s made me realize communication is a big aspect to a healthy relationship but so is willingness to understand where the other person is coming from. Re-reading some of my previous year old posts makes me cringe now but I thank everyone that gave me unbiased third perspectives which helped me see things from a different point of view. So thanks eNotAlone!
  4. Lmao this has to be a joke. No one could ever be this stupid.
  5. Yeah, you’re totally right. Everyone is right. Trust me. I know. That’s event brought me the closure I needed. I was nervous because he was still talking about me. But that night everything was squashed. We haven’t spoken at all since then but we don’t have beef. I’ve moved on. The past is something I’m seriously trying to stop focusing on though. I’ve moved on in more ways than one. I started a new career and education and have been focusing on my illustrating career and my relationship. I’m not letting the past hold me back from where I’m heading now. I honestly feel like a different person. My mind is in a complete different place now, and I’m so happy for that. (Something life changing did happen to me. Something I’m not saying but this was what brought on the apologies to my partner, the open communications and relationship talks.) and everything was squashed. We both have never committed the same mistake twice (like if he or I do something and the other says they aren’t ok w it we have never done it again). I’m not willing to give up on my relationship. My partner has never given up on me and I won’t either. But thank you. I do appreciate your input. Thanks to you, a switch turned on that had been off for a while. And that is to never fear losing someone. my shyt is together. It wasn’t a couple of months ago, but it is now. And he knows. We’ve always been transparent with each other and have had that talk. We are currently good and moving forward from the situation.
  6. Btw first time it happens as in first time I don't see him setting a boundary through text.
  7. So much has changed since then... Literally. so much. I've never played along or let someone else disrespect him since we got officially together. I always put a stop to every move. I did tell him when my ex texted me, because he saw the message pop on my phone, and I don't need him thinking that I'm talking to him behind his back. I squashed that there and there. We used to be both really hesitant at first and proved to each other we want to be together (in ways no one here knows, because as I said before, I don't come here when things are good. I come here when I need to vent. Literally, I feel as though people that have followed my story are obsessed with my ex. He somehow always comes up when I post on here, despite it having nothing to do with him. To make a loooong story short, me and my partner had a long, in-depth emotional, personal conversation about relationships. I apologized for everything I did in the beginning and told him it wasn't fair to him the way I reacted. We both agreed to forgive each other for certain things and this was.... around 5 or so months ago, if I remember correctly? Like right before our first holiday together. Ever since, we have been doing great. I always make sure to reassure him because he does have a bit of an abandonment thing due to his dad leaving when he was younger. We both want this to be our last relationship. We both work so well together. We are a team, a good one at that. We support each other and lift each other up. It's been amazing. I've never felt such genuine connection with someone. The past hasn't been brought up in months. And yes, figureitout, I have ALL the right to demand respect, because I have been honest with him from the get go. From the not wanting a relationship when we first started, to everything. He's known where I stand in everything. Certain things about my ex that I posted here, were kept here. No need to bring them to the real world when it was something in passing. He can't be pulling something like this a year later, not when we both have been honest with each other from the get go. About everything. But you guys have given me something to think about. I think I really just want to see his actions moving forward, and derive my conclusion from that. I do not believe in prohibiting him talk to anyone. I do believe that if he still chooses to despite knowing how I feel, then thats for me to take care of and walk away if I need to. This is the first time this happens, to my knowledge, and I do not want to derive conclusions blindly, because that is exactly what doomed my first serious relationship. ALSO I never mentioned this but he's a poet and he's often meddling into people's relationship because he inspires his poetry from them. He has over 100 poems on this. Which is why him talking to her about it is not surprising to me. He does this almost every day with people. Yet again, it was the not setting boundaries and letting it happen, that upset me.
  8. Sorry I think there’s been a misunderstanding Katrina. we don’t live together, so we parted ways after the concert and I had a meeting early the next morning so I fell asleep. They didn’t talk on the phone. He sent me a video opening presents I gave him and in said video I heard the text sound and asked if that was her. He said yes, he had answered her text when he got home and as he made the video she replied to his text. The messages he showed me were right before we left to the concert. He didn’t talk to her in front of me at all. We don’t really use our phones in front of each other to talk to others because we both treasure time together since we only see each other once a week. He also did not flirt with her, she did. She texted him she wants to steal him from me to which he said “no one can steal me from her. I love her” and then she continued flirting but didn’t stop her advances after that, which upset me because it was disrespectful to our relationship and I feel like only stopping that one advance and allowing the others was a sort of excuse to use as a “I’m being transparent” when he told me. So I wanted to make sure he understood I wasn’t going to tolerate it any more.
  9. Ok so I’m just going to copy and paste our conversation. ——- Me: Thank you for the apology. I was scared you didn't understand where I'm coming from. I'm also very sorry for coming at you the way I did last night. However, this is not something I will tolerate again. And going forward I want to ask you what are your plans regarding this woman. She crossed a line. A big one to me, and so did you by not stopping it. what exactly does that mean? Are you going to stop being this other woman's toxic relationship savior? I need to know. (Copied a response from here bc good question) Him: I was never her savior, more over common sense. I will be more aware of how I respond to people ensuring clear lines are set in the ground before me. Me: It's a yes or no question. Him: To if I will be her toxic relationship savior, No because I never was. Me: I do accept your apology but I am still really upset, so I'm just asking for some time for now. To calm down and stuff. Him: Not much I can say to that... —— Was this a good way to go? I’m really trying to set the boundaries and not let him off easy.
  10. Katrina thank you! You gave me that push to not be “afraid” to lose him.
  11. Hi guys! So I posted a little soon this morning. Right after saying good morning and me saying good morning back, he messaged me “how are you?” Followed by two texts apologizing. I’ll post the texts below. I’d like opinions He sent; “My Love, I apologize if I upset you. I do not want to fight or argue or squabble. I made a mistake in not setting boundries reguardless as to who sends me a message and for that I am sorry. I see that I made you feel disrespected and that IS not my goal at all. I want to lift you up not tear you down. Could you find it in your heart to forgive this foolish man 😢” And right after “I will never willingly put you in a position of Deja-Vu, because I don't want you looking back asking yourself "did I choose wrong again" I want to be Your Mr. Right, Your Last Love, Your Last Kiss. I hope that you will forgive my foolish actions words and thoughts. I don't want to lose the best thing I've ever had.” Thoughts?
  12. Havent answered still, just said good morning back, and Idk how to go about it. Do I ignore and move forward now? or is that me letting him step on my boundaries and getting away without issues? disrespect is a huge deal breaker for me in relationships. He knows this. But he also thinks he didnt do anything. And that is my issue - he didn't do anything, which makes him just as guilty. So what's the best move now...
  13. Thank you guys. It's very helpful to see the third perspective. I do agree that I've done some damage albeit not purposely. He just texted me the usual good morning text, and is now acting like nothing happened. So yet again, need a third perspective on this situation. Do I also ignore and move forward? Or would that do more damage in the long run? I feel like he's just pretending things are okay now because he also wants to move forward. Admittedly I do too. But I don't want this to become resentment for either of us in the long run. I'm willing to put in the work for him. And without a doubt I feel he does too.
  14. Figure it out, This, too, has already been done. The apology. The discussion of boundaries. We also both have yet to repeat an “offense”, meaning if he or I communicate something that bothers the other, we stop and haven’t repeated the same thing. Has never happened. Ever since I talked to him about that post he hasn’t done it again. Though something like this has never happened before. He told me about the flirting because she texted him when we were together, and he always tells me (yet again this is it’s him as a person. I have never asked him to) says who he’s texting or is texting him when he gets a texts and we are together. Dunno why but I just never thought much of it. I think the main reason that it’s bothering me is because, sure, he didn’t flirt back, but he also didn’t stop it. Sure, he talked about us and told her more than once that I’m his one, yet didn’t stand up for our relationship when she made the flirty comments. And the fact he didn’t get how that was disrespectful is bothering more than the fact he didn’t do those things.
  15. Hello Bolt, I actually talked to him about it. This has been squashed for a while now! We were doing great in my eyes... we’ve been happy and communicating so well :/ I understand how at first it all started but I promise you that I’ve fallen in love with him and he’s put so much effort into this relationship too. When I first talked to him about it I first reassure him I loved him and wouldn’t break up with him over this, but that he was starting to be a little unhygienic and that bothered me. Same day we both communicated and were fine and I didn’t demand him change, he offered to groom himself more often. We squashed it. Never mentioned again. I really do get that you’ve been reading what’s happened to me from the get go, but it’s been a whole year and this is only our 3rd argument ever. Literally the most we fight over is what to eat that day. The effort hasn’t diminished either. I think we’re a solid couple. Still think we are. This that’s happening right now though - has never happened with him before. Little bit of a Segway, His dad cheated on his mom and abandoned him when he was young and he said he would never cheat. His biggest goal is to not be like his dad. But I’ve noticed a pattern, not so common but enough that I’ve picked up on it, with our society. And that is that we do tend to follow in our parents footsteps without realizing it. I just don’t know what to do. Breaking up is the last thing I want. Not when we’ve been doing things right. Also please keep in mind bolt, that I don’t come on here to post our good moments. I come here to vent and post the ocasional bad moments. It’s easy to base it all on this since it’s all I give, but please don’t assume beyond what you see. I promise you, it’s been a lot more good than bad.
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