Needing some clarity

[shemmyemmy23]

So there was this guy that I liked years ago and went on a few dates with but it never progressed further than that. This year we started speaking again but I never thought much of it, the conversations at times would turn a little sexual and last week I went to his and we had sex. When we said goodbye, we told each other to have a good Xmas etc as he’s going away for Christmas so I’m not going to see him until the new year.

 

I didn’t think much of it though, just kind of thought it was something casual that I’d like to do again but since then I’ve been thinking more and more about him and I don’t know why? Because up until last week, I didn’t have feelings for him so now I’m confused as to why I feel I may have feelings again. What do I do? I kind of want to message him, but not sure what the point is, especially since I won’t see him until January but I’m feeling quite conflicted?

[ThatwasThen]

You mean he's going away at Christmas (which is a few weeks away) and he's not contacting you or asking to see you again before then?

 

I don't think you have 'feelings' for him, I think you are romanticizing the sex and the lead up to it instead of looking at it realistically. If he's not contacting you or asking to see you again then he's certainly not looking for anything serious and, if you're thinking you have 'feelings' then the worse thing you could be doing is continuing on in a casual sexual dynamic with him.

 

Its pretty obvious that you're not going to be able to compartmentalize sex and love so don't contact him. Let him contact you and if you're smart, you'll make sure he goes on an actual date with you and doesn't just want you at his or him at yours for more non-committed sex.

 

Of course you'll do what gives you instant gratification instead of maintaining your personal boundaries and looking out for your emotional health most likely. (I'm sure you'll tell me if I'm wrong).

[shemmyemmy23]

You mean he's going away at Christmas (which is a few weeks away) and he's not contacting you or asking to see you again before then?

 

Well he’s not here from now until the new year as he’s finished for his semester at university so he doesn’t live here in the mean time and he’s gone away for Christmas as well

[ThatwasThen]

Well he’s not here from now until the new year as he’s finished for his semester at university so he doesn’t live here in the mean time and he’s gone away for Christmas as well

 

But does that mean he can't text you or call you or skype with you? If he's interested in more then another sex session, then he'll keep in touch someway, one would think... at least until he goes away for Christmas anyway.