found out that my bf has had more A** than a toilet seat

[Amythyst_4206669]

okey heres the deal... when i first got with this guy he told me that he only had sex with 4 people... now he is tellin me that he told me that so that i wouldn't run away scared... but really he can't count on his fingers how many people hes been with... not only did i find this out... but i also found out that he has cheated on ALL of his other gf's before me... he says that he loves me and he sees me everyday and that he would never do anything to ever hurt me... and he says that with me its different and that he couldn't ever imagine cheating on me... but for some reason the fact that he has never had a gf that he didn't cheat on scares me... i don't know how to get over the fear that i will get hurt... can sumone give me some advice???

[singingwolf]

Wow, I'm so sorry. It's a tough situation to be in.

 

My opinion is that if someone lies to you, you can no long trust in them. And without trust, there can't be a meaningful relationship. He lied to you, and is potentially cheating on you. To me, that seems an impossible foundation for a relationship.

 

Additionally, he is putting you at risk. There is a saying that when you have sex with someone, you are also having sex with every person they've ever been with, and everyone those people have been with, and so on. With as many people as he as had sex with, the chances are good that he has picked up some kind of sexually transmitted disease. It could be nothing, could be anything from genital warts to HIV. And without him showing you a clean bill of health from a doctor (and an HIV test will show negative in an infected person for up to six months), you have no way of knowing. If he lied to you about how many people he's slept with, you don't know if he'd be lying about diseases.

 

I'd leave him and find someone you can trust and have a safe relationship with. I know that's easy for me to say, and you probably have strong feelings for him. It will be hard, but find a girlfriend whose shoulder you can cry on, or post here, or email me but be safe. Be safe physically and emotionally, and find yourself a good, decent guy.

 

Best of luck to you.

 

Sam

[Krystyl]

Unless a person has a sexually transmitted disease that they could give you...their sexual past is none of your business. The cheating part you should be worried over....how many he had sex with isn't your business. I would never, ever discuss who I had sex with in the past and how many times with a current boyfriend....it's none of his business and I sure as heck wouldn't want to know about his past sex life.....unless disease was involved.

 

If he has cheated that many times in the past....he will do it again.

[eddie500]

Yeah of course thats OK to not disclose how many sexual partners you had in the past. That is totally Ok to lie about.

 

But the big question is why did he give up that he cheated on all of his girl friends?

 

I

[Cecelius]

The lies and the cheating are red flags. The lie about his bodycount was not intended to be evil (for what it's worth), it was intended to keep you around. The cheating is a WHOLE other topic; at his age, if he's never had reason to stop (meaning, he's never been busted or dumped for it) chances are it will happen again.

 

As to his number, or anyone's, personally I prefer to stay away from that conversation. If someone's a 'ho, you'll figure that out without having to ask. It is NOT okay to lie about it though -- people have a right to know who they're dating. If they are unwise enough to ask, perhaps that's a turn off, but you can't lie.

[greenowl88]

I think that if you're serious with this guy, you DO have the right to know how many people he's been with. When you're close to someone there should be no secrets.

 

I also think that there is a small chance that he won't cheat on you. Some guys, when they find that special someone(the "one"), then the thought of cheating won't enter their mind. Since he has cheated before it IS obviously more likely that he will cheat and he is more capable than the average guy, but it doesn't mean that he definitely WILL cheat.

 

All I can say is follow your heart and trust your instincts.

 

Good luck!!

[metallicachica247]

Hes garbage and a liar. Dump him.