pro12 Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 Me and My ex were together for 3 years and we were best friends. She broke up with me out of the blue in early September and i think this goes without saying but i was left devastated because i didn't see it coming at all. It was a Gigs style break up and she started doing all these things she wasn't into before like clubbing/partying and obviously drinking plus doing drugs as soon as she got rid of me. She turned 21 just 1 and a half months before she broke up with me and im 24. She meant a lot to me and i also meant a lot to her and we were so in love with each other for a long time which is why the break up left me in shock. Now a lot has happened in the last 3 months(Post break up) and i'm not going to go into details about everything that has happened simply because too much has happened but i will say some things. I did try to change her mind the first week after the break up but nothing was working and she just kept throwing all these reasons at me as to why she didn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore and even said the infamous phrases "I love you but i'm not in love with you" and "It's not you, it's me". She even told me things that i didn't even know were problems honestly and everything just had me beyond confused. 2 and half weeks after the break up, i told myself "I'm not going to initiate contact anymore but i will reply to her if she does". 2-3 weeks after that she throws a tantrum because as she said "You don't care about me anymore" i remember telling her that i do care about her but i have to focus on healing and she hurt me really bad and she even said that she wishes we would have worked out while crying. Keep in mind, I'm trying my best to keep this as short as i can so way more happened during those convos but i don't really want to go into details. At this point, she was trying to contact me maybe once a week. A lot happened in the month of october. She was showing so much anger towards me and i really have no idea why. i finally gave her the space she wanted and she's just hating me. Every time we talked in october, it was her initiating contact and her being really mean. I remember telling her that i want her to be happy and that i want to be happy as well and that i want no drama between us. Now fast forward to mid november, She calls me one night and asks if I'm busy, i then tell her no and she says "can we talk?" and when she said that she sounded like she was going to start crying. I told her i'll call you back but i never got back to her. She texted me and called me 20 minutes later but i didn't answer because i didn't want to be used as her emotional crutch like how she used me in the first month after the breakup. She treated me like complete crap that first month while i had a broken heart and i allowed her to because i just wanted her in my life. That phone call she made in mid november was the last time i heard from her so it's been exactly 3 weeks of strict NC from both sides. I'm trying my best to move on but I'm also staying open to reconcile if she ever approached me correctly since she was the one who dumped me, and i didn't want to ask her if she wanted to get back together because i didn't want to push her away or lower my chances of getting back together even more. I miss her so much and 21 days is the longest we've ever gone without saying anything to each other. I've been telling my friend everything and he told me "you can get her back if you wanted to" but i just don't want to risk it and make the mistake i made that first week and how i was trying to change her mind while she didn't want to be with me which pushed her away even more. My plan right now is to continue NC but i guess my questions are .. Is she currently missing me? I know that 3 weeks is nothing compared to the amount of time others wait for something to happen but i want to get an idea of what she's going through 11 weeks after the break up and 3 weeks into no contact.. Will she try to get back with me once that gigs stuff wears off? because i feel like right now she just doesn't want me to get in the way of the things she wants to do while being single. I hope that one day she realizes what she has thrown away because that bond we had isn't easy to find, But i understand that the best thing i can do right now is continue working on myself which i am doing. I hope i can hear from people who have experienced something similar, whether it's from a dumpee or dumper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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